Yesterday

I set a silly little goal to post something on my blog every day this month. I meant to try that in October along with Nester and a lot of other cool bloggers, but I couldn't come up with a theme I liked. So here I am, just posting whatever I feel like posting.

{Wedged between two pieces of furniture and loving it.}

Yesterday was sort of a funny day in "mom life."

Dax and I checked out a free toddler gym, and there were two other moms wearing the same shirt I had on. It made me feel like a real deal mom - realizing that I dress like a mom. This shouldn't be a bad thing, but somehow dressing like a mom feels like a bad thing. And it figures that on the rare occasion I put a bit of effort into my appearance (read: not wearing yoga pants and sweatshirt), I would be wearing the same shirt as other moms.

Later we stopped by The Mennonite Home to visit my grandma and step-grandma. We almost got lost in the maze leading to the Alzheimer's unit where my grandma lives, but finally made it. We introduced ourselves and talked to her for a short bit - as long as I could make conversation without getting too sad about how she is no longer really herself.

On the up side, we got to watch every single face in that circle of recliners light up at the sight of Dax. "Isn't he a beauty! Look at those eyes, oh my!"

He was like a little baby therapist in the hallways too, bringing a smile to everyone's face - even the employees who stopped to talk to him. Such a blast. Except for when people try to touch him. That's tricky to get away from.

I kept saying hello to people as we passed them in the hallways, because I feel rude just speeding on by. But then I have to wonder if they're trying to figure out if they should know me or not. Maybe next time: "Hi there! You don't know us. Just saying hello to show we have manners and be kind. Have a good day!"

When we left my grandma's area, I was wondering how we would find my step-grandma's room because I'd already forgotten the number the receptionist told me. And just like that she walked right out of the elevator we were about to get on.

We walked with her to get her mail, and then back to her room. My step-grandpa passed away two weeks ago, so she had lots of cards and I got the job of reading them to her!

{Harry, my step-grandpa}

I was tearing up at the first one, because it had such a sweet handwritten note from someone who had them for church youth advisors years ago. She said they were like her second parents. My step-grandparents, Harry and Evie, were married for 72 years before Harry died, and they have quite a legacy.

The other cards weren't so personal, but I struggled my way through deciphering all of the cursive. Maybe it's not such a bad thing that cursive is being phased out of schools? Meh, but it is.

Dax was not happy I wouldn't let him push Evie's walker, which he apparently mistook for a better version of his toy walker at home. She was glad to see us, but we didn't stay long because 1) Dax can't be contained for long and 2) we were her fourth visitors that day, so I figured she needed a nap. And so did Dax. ;)

Later that evening, close to his bedtime he came into the kitchen where I was cleaning up and proceeded to projectile vomit TWICE. It was the first time he ever threw up,  so I got to see what I was made of as a mom and deal with that. My sweet little buddy must have had a virus, but thankfully today he seemed to be recovering.

I think this (and sleep deprivation) is why I rarely blog anymore.

I reread what I just wrote, and it seems ... insignificant.

But I guess it's good to write so that I remember. Because even though it feels like I won't look back and miss this ... I probably will. Not just because everyone tells me that over and over, but because it is usually the ordinary stuff that I look back on and miss.

{Dax: investigator of everything and future chef extraordinaire]

Like playing outside in our yard with my brother while my mom gardened. Rolling down hills, building forts, playing baseball, catching fireflies.You do that for so many days and you're a kid so you never think twice about it, but before you know it you're a mom wearing mom clothes and that feels like a million years ago.

Or spending Sunday afternoons at my grandparents. Sometimes it was really, really boring. But before you know it those people are gone, and you realize how many special memories you made and you'd give anything to step back into that place - the smells, the food (always the food), and the conversation.

Or the weekends during college where I would just hang out with my girlfriends. The seemingly insignificant Friday nights at Becky or Sarah's house, talking to their parents, playing with the dogs, going to the movies, binging on food (always the food), hot tubbing in the winter. Sometimes it felt boring, and I think we occasionally wished that we had boyfriends or were doing crazier stuff like most people our age. But I can't tell you how much I TREASURE those memories now. (And how glad I am that we skipped the crazy stuff.)

Oh life. :)