Meditations on Chelsea: Chronicles of a SuperWoman Part 1

My amazing husband (and hero) Lance has written a creative, hilarious, and oh-so-kind post for the blog today ...     

When I was first asked to guest blog on Not Your Ordinary Anything, I was honored yet felt the extraordinary burden of posting on such a prestigious blog.  What should I write? How would it be received? Could I live up to the hype? Did I wash my clothes I am currently wearing?

My hope is to leave all questions answered in a satisfactory way.  I have decided to write about my wife of whom this blog belongs to, in hopes that I can honor her and her blog, and also so that she will feel loved.  Also this will score valuable “points” for me.

Many of you who know me, know that I am a big fan of superheroes, however what you may not know is that I am currently married to one.  Sorry to blow your cover darling but the world needs to know.  I first realized her powers when I first saw her.  It seemed she had mastered the art of seduction or perhaps she had mastered magic and simply cast a spell to draw me in.  She then followed that up with playing “hard to get”, a hard power to learn and put into practice.  I was defenseless.  Being that all my powers are merely physical in nature I had to resort to telling nervous jokes and puns, which I combined with general ridiculousness.  

Unbelievably, it worked in my favor and I eventually scored a date, which led to many more dates.  Over that course of time she showed me how she could fly, could walk on anything in her bare feet, and sort thru endless BS (that’s bad science to you Dax when you read this).  All very impressive.  Needless to say I was surprised some time later, when she agreed to marry me, a mere mortal!  Perhaps when it came to marriage, was when she showed her true superhero attributes.

Everyone knows that a hero has to make at least one sacrifice to truly be a superhero.  Chelsea sacrificed a good job and beautiful Lancaster to come down to Tartarus (Georgia) to be with me while I was fighting injustice in other parts of the world with my hero squadron.  The first of many sacrifices she would make over our time together.  A soon time later we found out that she was pregnant.  Would our child possess the same super powers as his mother?  Time would tell.  I am sure any mother out there knows how much sacrifice having a child can be.  Yes, Chelsea was still able to fight crime while pregnant.

Chelsea continues to make sacrifices daily for our family.  Early on she met her greatest foe, Sleep Deprivation, who still to this day will attack unannounced.  Their longest battle lasting nearly 9 months.  Casting her ally Sleep to the side and having young Dax waking multiple times throughout the night needing his mother so badly that he would use his power of screaming at ultra sonic levels unknowingly.  Things have finally subsided a little and the battle is not as terrible as it once had been.  Sleep has worked on her side once again by allowing young Dax to go to bed at 7 p.m. most nights. 

Chelsea carries the title of superhero for many reasons.  She is a super wife and a super mom.  I am lucky to be on married to her and thankful she decided not to throw me through a building at any of the times I upset her.  She is an amazing woman so if you see her, buy her a chai, or hold Dax for a few minutes so her arms can take a break from holding young Dax constantly and fighting crime (or Sleep Deprivation).

Hopefully my first guest post has done justice to this great blog.  To you Chelsea, I love you very much.  To you the reader, leave a comment and check out some of her other posts….oh and yes I did wash these clothes…I think?