you shouldn't give up. fight for yourself and who you are. you've got to go through the worst times in life to get the best. [postsecret]
isn't it strange how when your heart breaks, the only person you want to talk to is the one that made it ache? [anon]
because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us
sometimes letting it go hurts even worse. [anon]
...and once you lose yourself, you have two choices: find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely. because sometimes you have to step outside of the person you've been. and remember the person you were meant to be. the person you wanted to be. the person you are. [one tree hill]
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
honesty
i hate being lied to, but i tell a lot of little white lies. and where did that phrase come from anyway? no falsehood can be covered up under the guise of such a phrase. how pathetic am i for lying so nonchalantly when 1) it's a sin, right there with murder and adultery and 2) i hate when people lie. i hate it so much i'm writing a freaking blog about it, but apparently i decided to make myself the exception to the rule.
the lies i hate aren't enormous. i can't remember being lied to about anything huge. (unless maybe i'm still clueless about that? ha.) the lies i'm talking about are people who say things just because they think it's what i want to hear. what i want to hear is the truth! even just beating around the bush and talking fluff isn't worth my time - say it like it is.
isn't that what Jesus did?
isn't that what we're called to do?
one thing i can always count on to NOT beat around the bush, and to follow through with what it says is the word of God ...
the lies i hate aren't enormous. i can't remember being lied to about anything huge. (unless maybe i'm still clueless about that? ha.) the lies i'm talking about are people who say things just because they think it's what i want to hear. what i want to hear is the truth! even just beating around the bush and talking fluff isn't worth my time - say it like it is.
isn't that what Jesus did?
isn't that what we're called to do?
one thing i can always count on to NOT beat around the bush, and to follow through with what it says is the word of God ...
"God, who gets invited to dinner at your place? How do we get on your guest list?"
"Walk straight, act right, tell the truth."
[psalm 15:1-2, the message]
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
good? best?
i thought i knew this. but it seems to get harder and harder to believe it and to wear my "don't settle for less" bracelet with the authority that i used to. this is what God's been speaking to me about and what i've been tuning out ... sigh.
"Learn to say 'no' to the good so you can say 'yes' to the best." [John C. Maxwell]
Monday, September 7, 2009
consistency ... starts with me
a couple of weeks ago i told someone that "a little consistency within the church could change the world." i still believe this, but as usual my judgmental pointing finger came right back to my own face today.
driving home from work today, i was about to pass a car that was stopped in the street with it's blinkers on, but as i was beside it the driver decided to speed forward and i swerved back into my lane - wish that was the end of this sentence - but of course i started swearing about idiotic drivers. i'm quick to admit that i have road rage, and incidents like this happen nearly everyday. i just don't understand why people drive so slow, because to me it seems like they have nowhere to go. i've got kites to fly and fish to fry. people to see and places to be. however you want to say it, i'm a "time is money" kind of girl. and maybe a lead foot one too.
so this wasn't anything unusual until i was beside this car a few blocks down and around, and the guys inside were trying to get my attention. (and not because they had noticed my irritation, so much as noticed ... me.) in the past i've had a problem with always looking when this happens and my friends tend to lecture me about why i should not do this. (how is it not everyone else's instinct to look when someone whistles?) i compromised and gave a polite smile then went back to fiddling with my radio. they didn't stop and i had to look over and the guy in the back seat looked way familiar. after we said hello i was trying to figure out if i knew him from school or work when he said, "you came to the intervention center didn't you?!" bingo!
i had hung out at the youth intervention center one night this summer and talked to this kid about the Lord. he opened up and we had a solid conversation. fast forward a few months and i'm cussing out his buddy for driving like a douchebag. how's that for consistency?
he happily slapped his buddies on the back saying "see! i told you i knew her!" they stared sheepishly at me and i asked how he was doing and such until cars were honking behind us. (and no, i didn't give those cars any choice words.) we talked a bit more at the next traffic light and neither one of us could stop smiling.
in that moment God reminded me again, as He has been doing of late, that He intricately works everything together for His purposes. there is no such thing as coincidence! there is a reason we run into the people that we do, when we do. there is a reason we dream what we do, hear what we do, experience it all. one of my favorite quotes from Waxer (a legend of a speaker at YWAM maui) is,
i'm still getting the skinny from God on today's encounter, but the biggest thing i wanted to share was CONSISTENCY. i never stop being a christian, i never stop representing the Lord to those around me. even if i don't want to deal with my road rage, God does. even if there's other stuff i don't want to deal with, God does. and sometimes i have to start from a place of asking God to make me want to WANT to stop/change/etc. He is always faithful to respond to our hungry hearts.
driving home from work today, i was about to pass a car that was stopped in the street with it's blinkers on, but as i was beside it the driver decided to speed forward and i swerved back into my lane - wish that was the end of this sentence - but of course i started swearing about idiotic drivers. i'm quick to admit that i have road rage, and incidents like this happen nearly everyday. i just don't understand why people drive so slow, because to me it seems like they have nowhere to go. i've got kites to fly and fish to fry. people to see and places to be. however you want to say it, i'm a "time is money" kind of girl. and maybe a lead foot one too.
so this wasn't anything unusual until i was beside this car a few blocks down and around, and the guys inside were trying to get my attention. (and not because they had noticed my irritation, so much as noticed ... me.) in the past i've had a problem with always looking when this happens and my friends tend to lecture me about why i should not do this. (how is it not everyone else's instinct to look when someone whistles?) i compromised and gave a polite smile then went back to fiddling with my radio. they didn't stop and i had to look over and the guy in the back seat looked way familiar. after we said hello i was trying to figure out if i knew him from school or work when he said, "you came to the intervention center didn't you?!" bingo!
i had hung out at the youth intervention center one night this summer and talked to this kid about the Lord. he opened up and we had a solid conversation. fast forward a few months and i'm cussing out his buddy for driving like a douchebag. how's that for consistency?
he happily slapped his buddies on the back saying "see! i told you i knew her!" they stared sheepishly at me and i asked how he was doing and such until cars were honking behind us. (and no, i didn't give those cars any choice words.) we talked a bit more at the next traffic light and neither one of us could stop smiling.
in that moment God reminded me again, as He has been doing of late, that He intricately works everything together for His purposes. there is no such thing as coincidence! there is a reason we run into the people that we do, when we do. there is a reason we dream what we do, hear what we do, experience it all. one of my favorite quotes from Waxer (a legend of a speaker at YWAM maui) is,
"we go through what we go through to help others get through what we've gone through."so whatever you're dealing with - big or small struggle - know that God is at work in your life! talk it out with Him and hear Him out - He has nothing but wonderful things to say to YOU.
i'm still getting the skinny from God on today's encounter, but the biggest thing i wanted to share was CONSISTENCY. i never stop being a christian, i never stop representing the Lord to those around me. even if i don't want to deal with my road rage, God does. even if there's other stuff i don't want to deal with, God does. and sometimes i have to start from a place of asking God to make me want to WANT to stop/change/etc. He is always faithful to respond to our hungry hearts.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
what i want
sometimes i get confused about what i want. isn't it enough to want to be happy? to not care what car i drive or the job i end up having or the school i graduate from? but in the midst of my confusion there is one thing i want more than anything else, and i've got it. a relationship with the Lord. i love God and i want to know Him more and more everyday and i want to know what He thinks about me and what He wants me to do. i want to know what He desires for me and i want to desire that too. i don't want to miss something He is saying to me and i don't want to give up obeying him because i love living this life as a pure adventure with God. i don't say it enough because i'm not sure how to, without sounding totally cheeseball. but what i love about the Lord is that He doesn't care how i say it, because He knows what i'm getting at. He knows my heart and He knows what i mean when i can't express it to anyone else.
i want the world to know Him. i want them to realize there is Someone who will fulfill them beyond their wildest dreams, beyond the ability words have to communicate. my heart literally breaks as i listen to people talk and watch them live so hopelessly, because if they only KNEW how much God loves them ... how differently they could live! how much better life would be.
so often i get exasperated and all i can say is, "i just want to save the world."
you know. JUST. save. the world.
but that's what i want. i want the world to know Jesus.
i want the world to know Him. i want them to realize there is Someone who will fulfill them beyond their wildest dreams, beyond the ability words have to communicate. my heart literally breaks as i listen to people talk and watch them live so hopelessly, because if they only KNEW how much God loves them ... how differently they could live! how much better life would be.
so often i get exasperated and all i can say is, "i just want to save the world."
you know. JUST. save. the world.
but that's what i want. i want the world to know Jesus.
Monday, August 10, 2009
i'm loving ...
1. my prayer language. and the thought of hearing every different language in heaven. all those tongues being interpreted and giving glory to God.
2. red beet eggs. chai. peanut butter cups. egg sandwiches.
3. wilco. james taylor. "colorblind" by counting crows.
4. summer sunshine.
5. being trained at the gym and feeling like i'm making progress.
6. no fear. it's really all that ever holds us back, and that realization is helping me to grow a lot. if God is for us who can be against us?
7. everything joyce meyer had to say on friday night. and the momentum i gain from being in a packed stadium of believers. it reminds me that america is not too far gone, we're still grounded in the Lord. we just need to raise our voices.
8. googling song lyrics. i never got into poetry, but song lyrics ... they get me.
9. how well my mom knows me.
10. the psalms.
11. tim tebow.
12. that the rumbling in my car is gone.
13. being young and free of responsibilities.
2. red beet eggs. chai. peanut butter cups. egg sandwiches.
3. wilco. james taylor. "colorblind" by counting crows.
4. summer sunshine.
5. being trained at the gym and feeling like i'm making progress.
6. no fear. it's really all that ever holds us back, and that realization is helping me to grow a lot. if God is for us who can be against us?
7. everything joyce meyer had to say on friday night. and the momentum i gain from being in a packed stadium of believers. it reminds me that america is not too far gone, we're still grounded in the Lord. we just need to raise our voices.
8. googling song lyrics. i never got into poetry, but song lyrics ... they get me.
9. how well my mom knows me.
10. the psalms.
11. tim tebow.
12. that the rumbling in my car is gone.
13. being young and free of responsibilities.
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