You'll Find Your Way



I love this song. It put tears in my eyes the first time I heard it, and this morning I played it for Lance only to realize yet again that we do NOT have the same taste in music. "I'm not gonna lie, it sounds exactly like the other songs you were just listening to." Which is funny because that's what I often think when he plays a song he likes for me - they all sound the same and do nothing for me.

This song makes me think of going for drives with my dad. Of all the back roads in Lancaster County, but especially in Holtwood. I love those roads. And somehow that got me thinking about the things we take for granted. How I used to get bored going to Pappy and Grandma's on Sunday afternoons with my dad and brother. Probably because it was routine.

And now I think, 'what I wouldn't give to have more of those ordinary Sundays ...' to get to be around Pappy Shank again and talk to him. I have so much left to ask him. So many stories I wish I could hear from him. To go back to Grandma Shank in a right frame of mind, bustling around the kitchen and making good food, singing and laughing.

To the phone ringing and Bruce loudly speaking what always sounded like jibberish to me, and Grandma responding in a yell-voice to get through to him, listening for a bit then yelling for Benny. And Pappy sitting on that stool cradling the phone, watching TV from the kitchen until finally we'd be sitting down to eat and Pappy would speak his only other words to Bruce (besides hello) - "Bruce! We're eating dinner!" And hang up.

Life is full of ordinary days. Sometimes we grumble or wish them away, but in retrospect they usually end up being the best days. Routine and the little things make life good, but the people around us are what makes life really good.

Sometimes if I'm frustrated or in a chaotic situation I think, "What is wrong with people!" or "I hate people!" But if I'm not completely distressed, I will counter that awful thought by thinking about how much I also LOVE people.

For as terrible as people can be, it is people who can also be almost unbelievably amazing. Through kindness, making you laugh and being there for you. Through completing the ordinary, everyday tasks that the world needs to keep moving. Through accomplishing amazing feats and overcoming unimaginably painful circumstances. People make life worth living. They are the best part of life. Ordinary days and ordinary people, they get inside of you before you even realize it and fill you up.

This song reminds me to take nothing for granted. Whatever kind of day you're having, someday you will probably look back on it as one in a series of ordinary days that you will miss. So don't take the people around you for granted.

What will I remember about these first weeks of marriage? What will I look back on someday as an ordinary that I miss? Well, I actually love when it feels ordinary. I love how natural it feels to live together, and I love when it feels like we have some routines established. It can be frustrating adapting to the Army life, which has no consistency, right down to the hours Lance works.

I am learning to keep my mouth shut when I'm in the passenger seat and Lance is driving - I fail miserably, but I promise I really am trying to pipe down. I am learning about myself and Lance and marriage.

[slightly creepy pictures of us, but we LOVE the mugs you made for us, Heather!]



What ordinary things might I lovingly look back on? Hmm, probably the newness of marriage. Our apartment and how we just have what we need. The basics. No clutter. I hope we always stay like that and don't accumulate excess.

Maybe all of the ridiculous ringtones and alarms Lance has on his new phone. One morning I faintly heard ducks, and since there are ducks that wander around our apartment complex from the lake to the pool and so forth, I didn't think much of it. But the ducks kept getting louder and louder until finally I said, "Lance do you hear those ducks?" Which apparently woke him up enough to realize his alarm was going off - the one he set to the tone of ducks quacking. So glad I knew that. ;-)

I love when Lance kisses me goodbye in the morning when he goes to work. Date nights. How we both get so excited for good food, and making big breakfasts on the weekends. Making fun of Georgia together. Adventures with our GPS. Watching Lance learn new things (like teaching him how to iron and how to make grilled cheese) and find his way around the kitchen when he helps me clean up. I love that it's just us down here, establishing our life together.

"Normal day,
 let me be aware of the treasure you are."

[Mary Jean Irion]