worry

you know how there are "those people" ... the ones that you don't want to be, avoid being, or pretend you're not? the ones you judge and cringe if you're ever compared to?

there have been so many things i've said "never" would i ever ... and i did. there have been plenty of people i've judged and said - maybe not aloud, or even consciously - that i would never be, or resemble. and i ended up mimicking the thing i disdained in them or repeating the mistake i couldn't understand they made.

this can happen with something major, something serious. or it can be something quirky and seemingly unimportant.

i did it with fashion so much that i have stopped saying, "ew! i will never wear that!" now whenever i see a trend that surprises me or seems like something i'd "never" wear, i just say, "well i'm not looking forward to wearing that!" because more often than not, i do end up wearing the things i say i won't. (i.e. skinny jeans.)

people worry a lot. it's easy to spot, disheartening to listen to. you know - THOSE PEOPLE. the ones who are always worrying about something. whether it's completely irrational or somewhat rational is not even the point, because listening to them brood over it is frustrating. you wonder, what's the use in going in circles about this? why do THOSE PEOPLE worry so much?

"no worries" is a phrase i toss out a lot. i like to think i'm a pretty carefree girl, and yet recently i had the revelation (duh moment maybe?) that i worry too. and i worry a lot. i knew i overanalyzed, knew that i thought too much, but i had never categorized it as what it really was before: worry. i might not worry about the things i hear other people worrying about, but i certainly worry.

it seems like we each have our own separate case of the worries. but really, i think we all worry about the same things, just in different ways. all the worries in the world keep getting recycled, played out in everyone's minds in slightly different versions, but at the bottom of it we probably all have the same core fears that drive these worries on and on.

the things i'm afraid of only inhibit me from moving forward now. the fear that something might pan out a certain way only holds me back. which is ridiculous!

i am those people, i worry. you know what made this revelation click?

someone i love said: "chelsea, you don't need to think about any of that."

i kindof made a face and thought for a quick second that i was right to be thinking about it because i am somehow one step ahead of the game by playing out every possibility, but then i realized that was all that needed to be said, because it was true. i didn't need to be thinking about any of that.

worrying never gets you anywhere, it keeps you where you are. there is no need to worry. i hope i remember those words whenever i start to freak out: chelsea, you don't need to think about any of that ...

"Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up." [Proverbs 12:25 NIV]

"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." [Matthew 6:27-29 NIV]

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." [Matthew 6:30-34, The Message]