blahhhgging

blahhh is how i felt about blogging lately.

i wrote several posts recently but you know what? didn't feel like clicking "publish post." sometimes i feel like i don't have anything worth sharing. other times it turns into a novel too long to possibly hold anyone's attention span. and sometimes what i want to share is too personal.the fact that my number of anonymous followers far exceeds the followers with faces on my blog, it weirds me out a smidge.

i mean i get it, i stalk all over the internet, no big deal, we're a culture of silent stalkers. (kinda kidding about the no big deal part, i think it's screwing us all up in the long run but what do i know?) my blog is pretty much raw, in your face, this is me. and lately i've been thinking about deleting the dumb thing because it's just weirding me out how many people might read it. get it back when i'm settled down. settled down with a shabby chic house and hott hubby and little monkeys i can post adorable pictures of. (little monkeys = children. i don't want monkeys for pets. just some pups. a bulldog named hank to be specific ... maybe some ducks, i love ducks. also dolphins... )

i get that the point of having a blog is so that other people can read it. maybe this is just a season of me wanting to write in a journal instead of online. i've written in a journal ever since i was old enough to write, and i still write in a journal all the time. love it, love it, love it. last week at the beach my friend's uncle was like, "are you seriously taking notes on what you read?" "oh no, i'm just underlining the parts that i like." HA. a few hours later i did whip out my journal in the sand when i switched to my beth moore book, oh baby, the things that make me happy.

i was thinking about all of this tonight, considering deleting the blog ... i actually wrote out part of this post and got majorly sidetracked (deleted that part, hehe) ... and then i wasn't even going to publish THIS ... but guess what happened? my friend texted me and told me that i need to post a blog! it could not have been more perfectly timed, i laughed when i got the text. threw a wink up to God and published this post and the last one too. thanks friend. :-)

if you feel like you don't have anything worth saying - you do. if you feel like no one's listening or cares - they do. (i do!) no matter how you're feeling tonight, just know that you're never alone. know that you're not the only one who has felt this way and you won't be the last, so it's important to learn whatever lesson you need to and remember how it felt. that way the next time someone is in your shoes, you can help them out and see them through. and do help them! don't think you have nothing to offer - you have so much, and we all need each other.

p.s. coming soon: pictures! from one of my FUNNEST summers yet, YAY for being 23!!! sweet, sweet 23. and YAY for being so tan from the beach that when i went into work my manager literally jumped when she saw me and said, "oh my goodness chelsea, i was going to say i wonder how dark you got but you're black!" ahhh, life is better tan.