courageous

"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." [harriet beecher stowe]

"All places where women are excluded tend downward to barbarism; but the moment she is introduced, there come in with her courtesy, cleanliness, sobriety, and order." [harriet beecher stowe]

i read the first quote in a mag at the gym and when i googled it later (so that i could copy it verbatim into my journal of course, ha) i found a lot of superb quotes from harriet beecher stowe.

i don't know the context in which stowe made that second statement. perhaps it was only a flippant thought or a joke. but i see it as being right on and applicable in both a large and small context.

when we examine the development and productivity of nations around the world, we see a direct correlation between the prosperity of a nation and its religious foundations. critics will point to natural resources as the reason for the success of a land, and while that plays a role, the success of a nation actually lies moreso in the people that form it and the God they trust in. take a look at different countries and you'll see. (i.e. contrast north and south korea.)

in countries where women are oppressed and mistreated beyond belief, do we see life, prosperity or abundance? when people are abused or oppressed at any level, we do not see positive outcomes. if anything, in households where women are abused we see the cycle perpetuated as the next generation is taught to mistreat women, and the next generation of females growing up in that environment underestimate their own value and worth, or fail to see it at all.

what would happen if women started to realize their value? what would happen if domestic abuse was eradicated? gone. i have heard many people talk about the dream of abortion being eradicated in this generation, and of human trafficking coming to an end as well. YES, YES, YES. but underneath both of those "issues" lies what seems like an even BIGGER root that must be dealt with, and that's the mistreatment of women.

women who talk about this are usually considered femi-nazis and very few people want that label. even a super liberal feminist professor i had admitted to feeling that and discussed the matter in depth with me, along with the incredible negativity attached to being known as a feminist. i do not consider myself a feminist. i believe the women's rights movement eventually ended up doing more to hurt the role of women in society than it did to truly empower us. but i still believe strongly that women have an incredibly important role in life and that it is too often underestimated or ignored.

anger rises up in me whenever i think about these things, along with a passion to see everything transformed. i started writing this late last night and didn't finish it because it felt too feisty; it felt like anyone reading it would just think 'oh God, chelsea is such a weirdo, i wish she'd get her sht together and quit being so dramatic.'

but when i was praying earlier today with friends it was definitely the anthem on my heart, and i believe God usually puts things on our hearts for a reason, so i wanted to finish writing some of these thoughts out.

when people talk about change and things being different i think about getting to the root of it, because that's the way to see different results. and at the root of things that hurt so many people - things like abortion and human trafficking - lies an even bigger issue. and to me that issue is the inability of people, women in particular, to see the worth and value they behold.

we could go even deeper and say that that is a result of people not realizing God loves them, etc etc etc. we could always go deeper and deeper, and yet. we settle for blaming the surface stuff. we wallow in shallow water without making progress, when all along we have been called to go SO MUCH DEEPER into fresh water ... until we overflow with that freshness, with revelation of the Lord and His great love and who we are in Him, with radiant life that spills out into the lives of absolutely everyone around us.

let's stop pointing fingers at the "fruit" (issues that show up on the surface) instead of the root. let's go back to our roots. let's rip out the bad ones, the lies that say we aren't worth anything. and let's draw strength and life from the good roots, like the rich heritage so many of us have in our families, and the greatest heritage that we all have in Jesus Christ. let's draw upon that wealth, upon the favor and authority that we are called to walk boldly in.

women and men of God, KNOW YOUR WORTH as the daughters and sons of the Living God! if you don't know it, LEARN IT. ask Him to reveal it to you and HE WILL. get into HIS WORD and study it. if there is anything worth doing, it is knowing God.

the other thing that spurred me to finish writing this post was the song i heard on the radio this morning by casting crowns - "courageous." enjoy the song and the movie trailer and don't just be encouraged, BE COURAGEOUS!!

always relating

so we were created to relate. we know that. and yet it still amuses me how far that goes. whether we are making friends or giving advice or watching movies, we always want to relate.

sometimes we mistake sameness for closeness. we feign sameness when the slightest similarity pops up. to better relate to people we convince ourselves that we are alike.

or when we dish out advice, what we say might have more to do with ourselves and our own experiences than it does with the person's actual situation. how many times have you listened to someone give advice only to think, 'they're saying that because of what they went through and it actually has next to nothing to do with what i'm talking about ...' well, if that hasn't happened to you, it has happened to me and now i am doing the same thing - projecting my own experiences onto you and expecting you to relate, HA.

when we watch a television show or a movie we naturally pick out a character to relate to. we compare ourselves to the characters and find ourselves in them, somehow, in some way.

sometimes our friends will even do that for us. "chelsea we just watched the funniest movie and the one character totally reminded us of you." "really, what movie?" "the losers!" needless to say i felt real good about my friends going to the movies without me and finding a character like me in something called the LOSERS.

no matter who i am reading about i find something that i relate to. maybe that's what sells articles - writers getting a message across that everyone reading can relate to. publishers portraying celebrities in a way that we as the audience can relate to them. aren't autobiographies and biographies consistently the bestselling genre? i could be making that up because i like them.

emma stone is one of my favorite young actresses. she's about my age and she is smart and hilarious and beautiful. so basically by comparing myself to her i am saying that we are long lost twins separated at birth. minus the fact that we look nothing alike and by "about my age" she is one year younger.
but when i read in vanity fair that emma stone's grandmother is from lancaster, pennsylvania my jaw dropped. she had just been visiting her and picked up some strawberry-rhubarb jam at a local farmer's market and was making vanilla ricotta cupcakes.
NO WAY. because i am from lancaster and i shop at farmer's markets and i just made chocolate peanut butter brownies. and when i declared that i make the best chocolate peanut butter brownies my mom looked at me and said, "chelsea, they're from a box." and i said, yes but are there any left? there weren't and my point was proven. and the role of the youngest child as incorrigible was once again confirmed.

her close relationship with her parents reminded me of myself too. she used to persuade them with powerpoint presentations. i never went the powerpoint route, but i definitely nerded it up growing up (do you like how i put that in the past tense? as if the nerdiness and growing up has ended? it hasn't, shh.) and in eighth grade i even circulated a petition across school to get shorter classes. i only use that example because it was one of my cooler nerd moments. well, mildly cooler.

if you combined my nerd power with emma stone's, not to mention her celebrity status, i can only imagine what could be accomplished. if nothing else maybe she would let me tag along the next time she hosts SNL. frankly i'd even settle for sitting in the audience.

i'd also love to star in an amazing movie like "crazy stupid love" with her and steve carrell and ryan gosling. oh i can't wait to watch that movie again, i loved it! i could totally relate to her character and to the whole movie in my own way. go see it and let me know whatcha think.

"Juxtaposing a person with an environment that is boundless,
collating him with a countless number of people passing by close to him and far away, relating a person to the whole world, that is the meaning of cinema."
[Andrei Tarkovsky]

worry

you know how there are "those people" ... the ones that you don't want to be, avoid being, or pretend you're not? the ones you judge and cringe if you're ever compared to?

there have been so many things i've said "never" would i ever ... and i did. there have been plenty of people i've judged and said - maybe not aloud, or even consciously - that i would never be, or resemble. and i ended up mimicking the thing i disdained in them or repeating the mistake i couldn't understand they made.

this can happen with something major, something serious. or it can be something quirky and seemingly unimportant.

i did it with fashion so much that i have stopped saying, "ew! i will never wear that!" now whenever i see a trend that surprises me or seems like something i'd "never" wear, i just say, "well i'm not looking forward to wearing that!" because more often than not, i do end up wearing the things i say i won't. (i.e. skinny jeans.)

people worry a lot. it's easy to spot, disheartening to listen to. you know - THOSE PEOPLE. the ones who are always worrying about something. whether it's completely irrational or somewhat rational is not even the point, because listening to them brood over it is frustrating. you wonder, what's the use in going in circles about this? why do THOSE PEOPLE worry so much?

"no worries" is a phrase i toss out a lot. i like to think i'm a pretty carefree girl, and yet recently i had the revelation (duh moment maybe?) that i worry too. and i worry a lot. i knew i overanalyzed, knew that i thought too much, but i had never categorized it as what it really was before: worry. i might not worry about the things i hear other people worrying about, but i certainly worry.

it seems like we each have our own separate case of the worries. but really, i think we all worry about the same things, just in different ways. all the worries in the world keep getting recycled, played out in everyone's minds in slightly different versions, but at the bottom of it we probably all have the same core fears that drive these worries on and on.

the things i'm afraid of only inhibit me from moving forward now. the fear that something might pan out a certain way only holds me back. which is ridiculous!

i am those people, i worry. you know what made this revelation click?

someone i love said: "chelsea, you don't need to think about any of that."

i kindof made a face and thought for a quick second that i was right to be thinking about it because i am somehow one step ahead of the game by playing out every possibility, but then i realized that was all that needed to be said, because it was true. i didn't need to be thinking about any of that.

worrying never gets you anywhere, it keeps you where you are. there is no need to worry. i hope i remember those words whenever i start to freak out: chelsea, you don't need to think about any of that ...

"Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up." [Proverbs 12:25 NIV]

"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." [Matthew 6:27-29 NIV]

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." [Matthew 6:30-34, The Message]

penelope calhoun

the thing about working at a thrift store is i love it. my manager told me that they will always have a place for me there. nothing like feeling you belong and are needed. and nothing like getting a discount on already cheap treasures.

there are so many regulars, and i'm talking about every single day regulars. it surprised me at first, but now i understand that the more you go, the better your chances are of hitting the jackpot. so what i really don't understand is how so many people have so much free time?

oh but i get so happy for people when they do hit the jackpot. a woman paying for a beautiful formal gown told me it was for her daughter, who is getting married and had ordered that EXACT gown for her bridesmaids! one of the girl's dresses was too tight, but this size was perfect - especially with a $7.50 pricetag. plus since her daughter is marrying a military man and moving to alaska, she can wear the dress for one of many future military balls too.

another mom found a cuuute j.crew cardigan and it was funny listening to her trying to explain to her young daughter what a steal it was. she looked to be a size zero, so it was easy to be happy for her because i knew it wouldn't fit me. a few times today i wanted to "accidentally" drop a few articles of clothing on the floor as i was ringing the people out because i reallly wanted what they were buying, tehe - but don't worry, i am a squeaky clean honest employee.

one "regular" in particular has my full attention. i know her by name not because we chat at the register, but because she has to use multiple credit cards to pay for her purchases. when one is declined she'll go for another. and she recently began using a credit card under a different name - what could this be about??

she - let's call her penelope calhoun, which is not her real name, for privacy sake - comes in almost every day and buys a TON of stuff. penelope calhoun gets awesome stuff, which is probably why i first noticed her.

i generally gush when i ring penelope calhoun up, because she manages to find everything free people, anthropologie, etc etc in our little shop. it's one thing to find ann taylor and gap, but the brands she finds - she has skills. well, that and a lifestyle that allows her to spend a large chunk of time thrifting nearly every day of the week.

penelope calhoun dresses kinda bummy when she shops, which i am certainly not judging because i almost always run errands (and even go to class, ha!) in my gym clothes. no biggy, but the fact that shopping is penelope calhoun's life and she buys such a lucrative amount of clothing makes me wonder when she ever gets a chance to wear it all?

one day i played a little trick on penelope calhoun, sortof unintentionally - i was just doing my job. when i saw a stash of anthro, freepeople and jcrew jammed together in the wrong area of the store, i wondered why penelope calhoun did not buy these? she had just been in earlier - did she change her mind and stuff them in this spot in the back? doubtful ... so i put them all back where they belonged and sure enough a few hours later i saw her running across the parking lot (not even kidding!) and darting to the back of the store ... only to discover that her stuff had all been returned by some overachieving employee. so she got a cart, scoured the store and filled it up.

you might argue that penelope calhoun is buying everything to sell it - a legitimate possibility except for her credit card shenanigans. and the way she avoids all eye contact. i naively thought shopaholics like that went more upscale. with penelope calhoun i have to wonder if she started upscale and has been forced to this as the result of a prior addiction.

ohh penelope calhoun, i really want to know your story ... and ransack your closets.

cape may

for the past several summers i've spent a week in cape may, new jersey with two of my best friends - becky and sarah, whose family so kindly welcomes us to their cozy beachfront condo. cape may is one of my favorite beach towns - right up there with the outer banks and paia, maui. a week at the beach with the girls is a treasure for sure.

we take winter trips to cape may too, so there is no shortage of memories and these are usually recalled on the drives down as excitement builds. the three of us share a king size bed every time we go, even if we're the only ones there - and the laughter from the time in that room alone is immeasurable. every time. i'd love to listen to a clip of every conversation we've had in there through the years. so many memories - makes my heart happy.

{oh, if you want to see these pictures "in order," you're gonna wanna start from the bottom and scroll up, because i totally uploaded these in reverse. tomato, tomato.}

"At the beach, life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun." [unknown]

the most dressed-up we were all week. :-)

"Happiness is a summer breeze, sand between your toes, and your best friend by your side." [unknown]

blahhhgging

blahhh is how i felt about blogging lately.

i wrote several posts recently but you know what? didn't feel like clicking "publish post." sometimes i feel like i don't have anything worth sharing. other times it turns into a novel too long to possibly hold anyone's attention span. and sometimes what i want to share is too personal.the fact that my number of anonymous followers far exceeds the followers with faces on my blog, it weirds me out a smidge.

i mean i get it, i stalk all over the internet, no big deal, we're a culture of silent stalkers. (kinda kidding about the no big deal part, i think it's screwing us all up in the long run but what do i know?) my blog is pretty much raw, in your face, this is me. and lately i've been thinking about deleting the dumb thing because it's just weirding me out how many people might read it. get it back when i'm settled down. settled down with a shabby chic house and hott hubby and little monkeys i can post adorable pictures of. (little monkeys = children. i don't want monkeys for pets. just some pups. a bulldog named hank to be specific ... maybe some ducks, i love ducks. also dolphins... )

i get that the point of having a blog is so that other people can read it. maybe this is just a season of me wanting to write in a journal instead of online. i've written in a journal ever since i was old enough to write, and i still write in a journal all the time. love it, love it, love it. last week at the beach my friend's uncle was like, "are you seriously taking notes on what you read?" "oh no, i'm just underlining the parts that i like." HA. a few hours later i did whip out my journal in the sand when i switched to my beth moore book, oh baby, the things that make me happy.

i was thinking about all of this tonight, considering deleting the blog ... i actually wrote out part of this post and got majorly sidetracked (deleted that part, hehe) ... and then i wasn't even going to publish THIS ... but guess what happened? my friend texted me and told me that i need to post a blog! it could not have been more perfectly timed, i laughed when i got the text. threw a wink up to God and published this post and the last one too. thanks friend. :-)

if you feel like you don't have anything worth saying - you do. if you feel like no one's listening or cares - they do. (i do!) no matter how you're feeling tonight, just know that you're never alone. know that you're not the only one who has felt this way and you won't be the last, so it's important to learn whatever lesson you need to and remember how it felt. that way the next time someone is in your shoes, you can help them out and see them through. and do help them! don't think you have nothing to offer - you have so much, and we all need each other.

p.s. coming soon: pictures! from one of my FUNNEST summers yet, YAY for being 23!!! sweet, sweet 23. and YAY for being so tan from the beach that when i went into work my manager literally jumped when she saw me and said, "oh my goodness chelsea, i was going to say i wonder how dark you got but you're black!" ahhh, life is better tan.