at six in the morning, with barely three hours of sleep under my belt, i found myself tearing up in the back of a car on the way to the airport. the tears came simply at the thought of the day that my dad will walk me down the aisle at my wedding and give me away. i have been praying so much for my dad, because my heart is so FOR him. i'm still proud of him and love him even though he hurt me so deeply. to have him give me my last bear hug as a single girl and a sloppy smooch, papa joe style, before my forever husband takes me into his arms ... wow. powerful. tearjerking. (okay, maybe only for me and my dad, but this is my blog so who else is it gonna be about?)
granted, i had just been at a wedding "all weekend" so i could 've brushed it off as a somewhat logical thought to cross my mind. but i believe the Lord put it in my heart specifically to remind me once again to pray for my dad's healing and not give up. i believe that he will walk in the fullness of all that God has for him. it is never too late, and i can't wait for my dad to have a radical testimony of how God literally saved him from years in the depths of despair and emptiness.
i had fabulous times with the Lord this weekend (evidenced by the 15 pages i filled in my journal, haha.) and of course with old and new friends alike. just one that i thought i'd share came from a late night conversation that led me to say to a friend, "it's hard to believe that God will leave you hanging if you're so submitted to obeying Him ..." (more specifics were involved cause i was giving advice, but that's besides the point.) i immediately realized how silly it sounded, because of course that is hard to believe - HE IS GOD! He never leaves anyone hanging! His Son hanging on the cross for our sin - He did that for us so that we can believe and trust and watch as He never leaves us hanging.
"i'm hanging in there" is one of my dad's classic responses to people asking how he is. if we ever find ourselves in that place, it is because of our own choices. God is not the one who leaves us "hanging" - we are the ones who turn away from Him and try to have our needs met elsewhere. i am not saying life will be fair or painless (by any means!), but we always have God to turn to. don't settle for a life of "hanging in there" when God is here now for you with wide open arms of love and incredible plans for your life. not somebody else. not someday. He has a purpose for YOU right NOW.
2 comments:
as usual, totally insightful! i love you and your heart!
Yes Chels...thanks for your sweet comments. Got me back on your blog...haven't been for awhile. I wanted to ask about your dad at the wedding, and just ignored my promptings because I just did. I think of you and Colby often, and your mom too...we are sad for your dad too, and the whole situation, but believe as you that he will find the place of despair, and Jesus will pull him out in such grand fashion...what a day...what a story...I believe in faith as you for your dad. Love you...Missy.
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