meditation

for most of my philosophy class today our professor led us in a meditation. a few students opted to leave before he even started the exercise, and they would be ones who have argued with him about nearly everything he teaches in comparative religion. others protested about the whole thing and yelled that they didn't want to do it. surprisingly, i found nothing controversial about the things he was saying.

he is a hokey professor who doubles as a psychotherapist, and while i definitely don't agree with his overall belief system, i just don't feel the need to argue with him. ever since i did the school of biblical foundations in ywam maui, truth has become concrete in me. one of my favorite facts is that the truth will always reveal itself. people can harass us for our beliefs as christians as much as they want, but truth will always win out. this doesn't mean ignoring controversy, but it does mean that there is no pressure to argue with anyone till you're both blue in the face. i used to think that if i couldn't convince someone they were wrong, that if i couldn't deconstruct their argument and watch them come to a knowledge of truth in that instant ... that i had somehow failed. not so. i have a responsibility to increase my own tools of knowledge and understanding to explain things to people. but it is up to the Holy Spirit to do the convincing.

so while the rest of my class was up in arms about meditating - half of them because they hate anything religious, some because they think it's sacrireligious, others because they like picking fights - i was fine. he instructed us to concentrate on our breathing, then to imagine sitting in front of a stream (i said hokey didn't i?) with leaves floating by. "let go of each thought, let it float by like the leaves ..."

and here is where it got difficult for me, the professional overactive thinker. i started thinking about how many thoughts i have. and how if i really could get rid of my thoughts momentarily, as he was suggesting, how peaceful i would feel. but knowing how many thoughts run through my mind a minute, i started picturing leaves coming out of my mouth like word vomit. literally. i saw myself by a stream projectile vomiting autumn leaves. and then i was wishing once again i had the gag reflux (i haven't thrown up since third grade) ... until finally i had to concentrate all of my efforts on not laughing. thank God our thoughts aren't projected on screens in front of our heads, because somehow i doubt this was the goal my professor had for class meditation.