bits and pieces about baby

the hidden costs of having a baby are things like running the dryer so he will take a nap, and turning on the shower so the bathroom gets really steamy so he will stop crying and relax and forget about that phlegm problem he has. no one tells you about those things.

people try to make you think it's expensive because of all the stuff you "have" to buy, but you don't really need much. especially for dax. he doesn't like his baby swing. (not a big deal since it was a few bucks at a yard sale.) sometimes he will sit in his bouncy seat (free from a friend who got two! see how easy it is to save on baby stuff?) but what he really likes is sitting in the recliner. and not just with me or his dad - he loves sitting up in the recliner and just chilling out by himself.

from my itsy bitsy teeny tiny bit of experience with parenting … here is almost three months worth of advice, observations, thoughts …

- be flexible. start each day with new with fresh perspective and a good attitude.

- remember everything is temporary. the good, and the bad.

- just when you think you have your baby figured out, they will change it up. so don't worry about trying to figure everything out.

- buy a nosefrida. it is the coolest product, and way better than the gross nasal aspirators from the hospital. (swedish design, so of course it's genius.)

- new baby smell is heavenly! i had no idea! (or maybe i didn't believe the hype!) this is one of my strongest memories from the hospital, and if there is a scent i could bottle up … it would be the way dax smelled the first few days after he was born. amazing.

- when baby screams i feel like i will lose my mind. sometimes i had to say, "WHAT DO YOU WANT? JUST TELL ME AND I WILL DO IT!" but when baby sleeps … and smiles … it makes everything okay, and there is nowhere else i would rather be.

- i might have also told lance, "i am a words person! i need words! how am i supposed to do this if babies don't use words!" meltdowns were the norm the first several weeks. i mean meltdowns are the norm my whole life, but post-pregnancy hormones don't mess around, sheesh.

- cutting dairy from my diet helped dax so much. i felt like a horrible mom for not figuring out sooner that this was what was bothering him.

- i braced for the worst and expected a newborn to wreak havoc on our young marriage … and i was oh so pleasantly surprised to find the OPPOSITE! my love for lance has grown and grown since having dax. watching him be a dad is so awesome, and i feel like our marriage is getting stronger and stronger.

- babies are funny. we laugh at dax so much and he laughs at us and it's awesome.

- being a family is awesome. one of my favorite things as a kid was getting pizza on sunday evenings with my parents and brother … eating it at the park in  the summer and playing on the playground … or at our house in the winter and watching baywatch (so wholesome) … and we have fallen into a tradition of late of getting pizza downtown and walking by the river. my heart could just burst it makes me so happy. ahh, family + the simple joys of life.

- learn to live tired. just accept that it's the way it will be … and then any sleep you get is a pleasant surprise, and when you don't get sleep you adapt easier.

- taking out trash and doing laundry. that might be what you do the most, besides feeding baby.

- getting dax dressed in cute outfits is as fun as i anticipated it would be and then some. i love that i get to set his style. baby clothes are just adorable, that's all there is to it.

- i have always been a big sweat-er … even at night, which is weird and a long story, only because it's me and i can make just about anything a long story … but after having baby i would wake up at night DRENCHED in sweat! i have (so far) talked to one friend who had this same experience, so i know it's not just me, thank God. it was probably the first four weeks after, and now it's over. i guess i was sweating out pregnancy hormones? or dropping the weight? thank you mom and dad for great genes and metabolism, even if it does mean i sweat like a manly man.

- don't waste so much time researching labor/birth and forget about the rest … you'll probably end up having a c-section if you do that! ;)

- lactation consultants are angels in disguise. ;) breastfeeding … though natural and seemingly simple … can be complicated! i love it now that it's going well, but there were definitely some anxiety-ridden times with that process. it's a lot of pressure that you are in charge of keeping your baby alive and if the breastfeeding isn't working, then what?!

- old people love babies! i love making their day. i should take dax to nursing homes.

- old people also love to say: "is there even a baby in there?! i can't see him!" when dax is in his carseat at the grocery store or wherever. i accidentally got in a habit of grocery shopping on wednesdays and quickly realized that is senior citizen discount day. old people think this is a sly way of getting to see the baby, but i'm onto their tricks and lift up the blanket/carseat canopy before they finish saying it now. one night at an italian restaurant a huge table of old people (i know, it's probably very offensive to keep saying old people over and over, but i can't stop now) was leaving and they all stopped to coo over dax. his face watching them all was hilarious. one sweet (old) man said, "the old and the new, right here together." it was funny but i also could have cried at the sentiment.

- even if you dress your baby in blue, people will say "she" or ask "boy or girl?" and it will be really offensive … even though you know you wonder the same thing about other babies. (but really, blue should still signify baby BOY to the public, even in these crazy mixed up times - come on people.)

- sleep when the baby sleeps. easier said than done, but the best advice. which is why this post is getting cut short and to be continued who knows when. ;)