letters, smoking, politics

dear chelsea,
... please pray for me, i am afraid i might beat the shit out of someone ...
love, dad

that, my friends, was the best part of the letter i got from my dad the other week. he was concerned about having a nicotine fit if his smoking breaks continue to be limited. i decided now is probably not a good time for me to approach him with the idea i had of asking him to donate to my wedding the amount of money he has spent on cigarettes in his lifetime. or even just this year - which i'd estimate to be $1300 if cigs are $50/carton and he smokes a carton in two weeks.

my "logic"  (keep in mind that logic of people planning a wedding often goes out the window, i don't know what it is but these celebrations make people craaazy) here is that i have been a lifelong advocate of him quitting, and i bet that's a job people get paid for somewhere. and i doubt those people are as awesome as me. the fact that he still hasn't quit smoking might indicate to some people that i have failed at my job as "smoking cessation advocate," but i have been as persistent and annoying about it as a piece of corn on the cob stuck between your teeth and that's what counts.

he will undoubtedly laugh and ask me why i'm so greedy, and i will say well dad, i don't think it's greedy if you don't give me any money. read the parable of the persistent widow. just kidding, don't. or at least don't read it thinking it applies at all to this situation because that really has nothing to do with this. she was persisting for justice and i really am being greedy. son of a!

oh well, it is still worth a shot. (there's the wedding crazy in me talking again!)

his letter was also quite timely because on the day i read it i shared his exact sentiments about wanting to beat the ---- out of someone. it's stupid, but i had almost hit my boiling point with people and their political rants and stereotypes and judgments. just stop it. stop being ignorant. do not act like you are taking any kind of high road when you are being completely intolerant and disrespectful of those with different beliefs. we're allowed to be different. it's actually really good to be different and i'm pretty sure that at some point it was what made america so great. please stop assuming things about people based on their political beliefs and at the very least be respectful of everyone. i sound like i'm writing to a bunch of wily five-year-olds, but in my opinion political differences can make people act worse than kids jacked up on sugar.

i don't speak up in those ... conversations ... and maybe my silence IS what makes my blood boil like that, (because God knows i had plenty of aggression to let out at the gym that night) but i have trouble imagining that words make any difference in those moments, when people already have their minds made up. maybe they could, but i know for sure that actions do make a difference. actually helping people and choosing to love and care about them.

and i also know i have a looong way to go with that too, because even though i try really hard there are still days when the best i do is exercising enough self-control to not beat the ---- out of someone. maybe that's why i'm a little cautious to speak up when it comes to bold conversations about how a country should be run.

it's sad that those important conversations too often turn into cat fights and bullying. i think we'd all be a lot better off just asking how we can help the people right in front of us. i'm challenging myself to do that. first step: don't punch people in the face. (fyi i have never actually done that, but the temptation lurks.) second step: take a deep breath and do something to help someone.