Wednesday, September 7, 2011

tell me

tell me if this is creepy.

you're working out at the gym, a guy you don't know but have seen there before waves at you. then he comes over and says he hasn't seen you in awhile and wants to know how you are and what's new. you've never actually had a conversation with him. you give short answers hoping he lets you get back to working out. after what feels like an eternity of him talking (about who knows what because you've zoned out) he finally leaves.

on your first day of class for the new semester you arrive in the knick of time but of course everyone else arrived early so it looks like no seats are left as you scan the room.

but then you see that guy from the gym waving at you. and pointing to the only empty seat next to him. noooo. except yes, yes of course this is happening because it is your life and there is never a dull moment.

so you make it through class and then he starts offering you protein shakes. all you can think is, what is this, a new date rape drug? women have become too aware of date rape and now guys have moved onto gym rape instead? you tell him no thanks. repeatedly.

you see him again in another class when he walks in calling you chels. i mean, calling you whatever beloved nickname is generally reserved for people you actually know. when you see him in a THIRD class and he yells "chels!" the disbelief spills off your lips as you say in an irritated tone, "dude what is your major??" and he laughs and it turns out he has the same major AND minor as you.

and now every time you're at the gym - the school or local gym, because of course he goes to both - he finds you. but now he takes the protein shake offers to another level and tells you that he has a PILL that he wants you to try. what the?? you say NO.

it's only the second week of school and you're already sooo sick of him asking you to take things. you could have sworn the d.a.r.e. program was in sixth grade for a reason, because middle and high school were the prime time for peer pressure to do drugs. but as usual you are behind in the normal train of life and the time frame for when things normally happen to people. you never had a problem saying no and you still don't, but being thoroughly annoyed is another story.

5 comments:

Mama Duck said...

Totally creepy, and annoying. And while you are completely stalkable without incentive - because you are so stinking beautiful and witty - my guess (which I am sure you already may have concluded) is that he sells these products for a commission. Owns his own business of sorts. Pretends to be your BFF, strikes a comment out of nowhere - hoping you are gullible enough to take the contrived intimacy bait and buy something.

I mean that is your only hope.

Otherwise, it very well may be that he is REALLY stalking you and protein shakes REALLY are the new date rape drug. In which case run.

*Coming from someone who has actually ingested the date rape drug. That's right - never a dull moment here either.*

Anonymous said...

I saw your blog on facebook a few days ago... I have enjoyed it and been encouraged by it (even if it means watching out for guys offering protein shakes, Ha!). Keep writing! - Brianna
P.S. It was good to see you at the book sale the other week, even if only for a few minutes!

Unknown said...

um. yeah. so i would totally transfer out. that's how wigged out i get. :) mis.

Heather Buckwalter said...

ha. another awesome chelsea story and more material for your books!
heather

Angie Myer said...

Chelsea you make me laugh! :) Creepy for sure. Do you carry mace? :)
Love,
Ang