realize

i love places like that too. the pinnacle is one of those places for me.

for anyone not from lancaster, the pinnacle is a beautiful overlook spot down in the boonies where i grew up. my family spent a lot of time there and it holds a special place in my heart. you can sit on "the rock" and look out at the sprawling river and wooded hills. the sky feels closer. whenever i sit out there i guess i remember how small i am, how trivial my grievances really are in the long run (and in the short run), and how much bigger God is than anything else.

"On days we are feeling overwhelmed it's curious to ponder how God can know everyone and everything and not only keep up with it all but still patiently care."[Mark Driscoll]
the bad thing about the pinnacle is that too many people know about it now. it gets so crowded sometimes it bothers me. a few weeks ago i was there by myself on a weeknight and there was a group of kids at the rock (okay they were probably my age, why do i act like i'm 45, i don't know.) they were smoking, but i just sat down and did my own thing. they were playing music on their phones and just not appreciating the place like i felt that they should be, and i could gage their attention spans and knew they wouldn't be comfortable out in nature for too much longer. i was right, they soon left.

then a new group of kids my age rolled in, wearing dresses and heels. i was afraid for their life, if ever there was a place to NOT wear stilettos it's the pinnacle! they had a lengthy photo shoot, which again it's whatever. i like pictures, i do. but i have this quirky agitation with them as well. it's one thing to snap candids, but i feel like people get real carried away with the photo shoots. so you want pictures of yourselves decked out at prom or a wedding? sure. but pictures of yourselves decked out at the pinnacle? whatever happened to living in the moment?

in the midst of their shoot, we're all talking because they ago to Bible college and were saying 'wow what a great place to have devotions ...unless a bunch of people are taking pictures huh!' ... um, pretty much.

i'm laughing at myself because this shouldn't bother me so much, but it's funny that it does. it's just that sometimes people seem so afraid to spend time alone. or to just spend time with God just because. not because it's duty or "devotions." just because you want to.

after that fiasco i was like, i freaking can't go to the pinnacle to chill with Jesus anymore because there are TOO MANY PEOPLE! and then it's like God or someone who sounds a lot like Him in my head ;-) saying, 'really chelsea? too many people? they have a problem because they can't be alone with me? what about you? maybe you have a problem because you'd rather be alone with me than realize the value in every single person you meet ... because they all bear my image and my heart is flooded with love for each and every one of them like it is for you ... live a well balanced life my child! don't put limits on what it looks like to spend time with me. it doesn't always look the same, it doesn't have to be what other people tell you, but it also doesn't have to be what it's always been for you.'

hmm. lesson i'm learning. :-)

nonetheless, there is ANOTHER place i love to go for when i do need my introverted time with God. it's a place no one goes, with a beautiful view and every time i go i am refreshed and i wish i could tell you about this spot, but i can't. i'm too worried the cemetery i like to chill out in will fill up with people wanting to do photo shoots and smoke pot and talk to me when i want to be alone. HA.