chelsea in the kitchen?

you know what's funny?
i keep adding food blogs to my blogroll over there. have i ever made anything from any of these blogs? no. do i practically drool over all of the food pictures? yes. do i subconsciously pretend i am someone who cooks healthy and organic ... or even just someone that cooks? yes.

is one of my favorite movie quotes when carrie bradshaw/sarah jessica parker says - "... except for the closet, which Big says he can redo, and also he says the kitchen needs work. of course, i don't know about that because i keep sweaters in my stove. " yes, yes, yes. and when carrie says, "the only thing i've ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. and several little fires."

that is the kitchen language i speak. i know all about making hummus. with your best friend. in three hours. with three trips to the grocery store. and even though she thought it tasted and smelled terrible, i was stuffing my face and loving it ... until i felt sick afterward and have not eaten hummus since. i know all about making peanut butter fudge and instead of using ONE 7oz container of marshmellow fluff as the recipe calls for, using a whopping 17oz because you misread the recipe you sloppily wrote down. and then giving the fudge away as a gift because so help me God if i was going to eat that mess. i know about making cookies with your best friend and scraping them out of the microwave (it doubled as a convection oven, calm down) in hysterical laughter saying, "wooow, we are DOMESTIC." "yup ... some guy's gonna be sooo lucky."

and actually, i did make something from one of those blogs. pillow cookies on bakerella. i was on a baking kick for a few weeks (yeah, it happens) but pillow cookies put an end to that one. those chocolate chip cookies stuffed with brownies were delicious, but they looked nothing like the picture. mine looked like chocolate chip cookies stuffed with brownies. not "pillows."

i should start a blog with pictures of me attempting to recreate the pictures of food on other blogs. only instead of this blog inspiring people to cook, it will serve as more of a dieting tool. the pictures will NOT make people hungry or eager to try the recipes, and it could act as a twisted kind of kitchen encouragement. just when someone starts to feel bad about their cooking, they will remember that crazy person who used tomato paste instead of tomato sauce on her pizza and know it could always be worse.