friday favorites

imagine if you had to describe your own beauty to someone. could you? would you know where to start? most of us can't see our own beauty, but the people around us can. we constantly underestimate ourselves.

this video is from the dove beauty sketch ads. an fbi-trained forensic artist sketched seven women who were hidden behind a curtain, using their self-descriptions as the basis for his drawing. before the session with the forensic artist, each woman spent time with a stranger without being told why. the artist also drew sketches of each woman based on the stranger's description.

the results are pretty revealing. remember: you really are beautiful! quit being so hard on yourself.

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{source: ashley hempel photography}

i'm not a huge fan of maternity photographs, but this one is so funny. to clarify: maternity photos are fine, it's the naked belly shots i am not into.

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 {source: auntie anne's}

i also think prom proposals are a bit over the top - but what's not to love about this?! adorable.  one of the ladies in my small group told us the story of how her son asked his date to prom last week and he really hit it out of the park too.

he got a police officer to pull over the girl he wanted to ask when she was driving home from church and pretend she was in trouble. eventually the officer brought a huge paper - not sure if it was supposed to be a speeding ticket or a bill of rights - but on the paper the guy had written: "isabelle, will you go to prom with me? -zach." HA. of course she started crying and said yes.

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 {source: google images}

Girl reportedly guarded by lions- NBC News
i love this miracle! there is still good in the world and news - look for it. and the supernatural is real - welcome it.

and speaking of lions, does anyone else imagine God looks like a lion? i picture God in all sorts of different ways, but when i googled images of lions i was reminded of how much lions remind me of God. i find lions absolutely beautiful. they are just stunning creatures with piercing eyes, but they also terrify me. and i think God is like that in a way. not that we should be terrified of him all the time, but we need to have that healthy fear of him. and play by His rules. or it leads to destruction like we see all over the earth more and more.

people wonder "why does this awful stuff (fill in the blank with any number of recent shootings, bombings, other tragedies) keep happening?" "what is wrong with people?" HELLO. our nation has blatantly turned against God for a very long time! pretend that doesn't have consequences, pretend you're invincible, pretend secularization and being politically correct will improve the world and save us all, but nothing will save us all except for turning back to God! we all desperately need Jesus! He is the only answer.

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{source: pinterest}

dreams, keys and adulthood

after telling lance about some weird dreams i had the other day, he said that he never remembers his dreams. a few days later he said excitedly, "hey! i had a dream the other night that i actually remembered!"

me: "oooh what was it?"
him: "well, we were trying to get in the apartment and i started freaking out because i looked down at my keys and realized i hadn't turned in my barracks key, even though i thought i had-"
me: "THAT WASN'T A DREAM! THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND I WAS STANDING RIGHT BESIDE YOU!"
him: "what? no. are you sure? then how come that key isn't on my keychain now?"
me: "probably because the other night you were holding MY keys and i have more keys than you do! but i didn't think about that then."

we started laughing hysterically.

and i remembered the time i was out with my dad somewhere and he could not get his truck to start. he just kept turning the key and nada. after much frustration and not knowing what was wrong with his truck, he called pappy shank to pick us up. almost immediately after placing that call, he realized the problem was that he was using the wrong set of keys for the truck.

since it was before the days of cell phones, we had to wait for pappy to get there and tell him. which was apparently agonizing for my dad who swore and worried about what pappy would say. i think i started laughing then and my dad did too, and he said something about needing colby with us to keep us in line. i forget what pappy said when he showed up, but i am fairly certain my dad just pretended he figured out the problem and got it to start. ha.

have you ever mixed up keys and created a situation like this? or had someone tell you what they thought was a dream but you are listening to them thinking, what the what, THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED!

one of my weird dreams last week was about grocery shopping. even weirder was that i was actually excited to go grocery shopping yesterday. i told lance about this, and how i was excited to plan meals for the week and to invite people over for brunch. never thought i would look forward to stuff like that.

he knew exactly what i meant, and said that he was actually having fun changing the oil and putting air in the tires of our cars.

apparently we are growing up and liking it. go figure.

You'll Find Your Way



I love this song. It put tears in my eyes the first time I heard it, and this morning I played it for Lance only to realize yet again that we do NOT have the same taste in music. "I'm not gonna lie, it sounds exactly like the other songs you were just listening to." Which is funny because that's what I often think when he plays a song he likes for me - they all sound the same and do nothing for me.

This song makes me think of going for drives with my dad. Of all the back roads in Lancaster County, but especially in Holtwood. I love those roads. And somehow that got me thinking about the things we take for granted. How I used to get bored going to Pappy and Grandma's on Sunday afternoons with my dad and brother. Probably because it was routine.

And now I think, 'what I wouldn't give to have more of those ordinary Sundays ...' to get to be around Pappy Shank again and talk to him. I have so much left to ask him. So many stories I wish I could hear from him. To go back to Grandma Shank in a right frame of mind, bustling around the kitchen and making good food, singing and laughing.

To the phone ringing and Bruce loudly speaking what always sounded like jibberish to me, and Grandma responding in a yell-voice to get through to him, listening for a bit then yelling for Benny. And Pappy sitting on that stool cradling the phone, watching TV from the kitchen until finally we'd be sitting down to eat and Pappy would speak his only other words to Bruce (besides hello) - "Bruce! We're eating dinner!" And hang up.

Life is full of ordinary days. Sometimes we grumble or wish them away, but in retrospect they usually end up being the best days. Routine and the little things make life good, but the people around us are what makes life really good.

Sometimes if I'm frustrated or in a chaotic situation I think, "What is wrong with people!" or "I hate people!" But if I'm not completely distressed, I will counter that awful thought by thinking about how much I also LOVE people.

For as terrible as people can be, it is people who can also be almost unbelievably amazing. Through kindness, making you laugh and being there for you. Through completing the ordinary, everyday tasks that the world needs to keep moving. Through accomplishing amazing feats and overcoming unimaginably painful circumstances. People make life worth living. They are the best part of life. Ordinary days and ordinary people, they get inside of you before you even realize it and fill you up.

This song reminds me to take nothing for granted. Whatever kind of day you're having, someday you will probably look back on it as one in a series of ordinary days that you will miss. So don't take the people around you for granted.

What will I remember about these first weeks of marriage? What will I look back on someday as an ordinary that I miss? Well, I actually love when it feels ordinary. I love how natural it feels to live together, and I love when it feels like we have some routines established. It can be frustrating adapting to the Army life, which has no consistency, right down to the hours Lance works.

I am learning to keep my mouth shut when I'm in the passenger seat and Lance is driving - I fail miserably, but I promise I really am trying to pipe down. I am learning about myself and Lance and marriage.

[slightly creepy pictures of us, but we LOVE the mugs you made for us, Heather!]



What ordinary things might I lovingly look back on? Hmm, probably the newness of marriage. Our apartment and how we just have what we need. The basics. No clutter. I hope we always stay like that and don't accumulate excess.

Maybe all of the ridiculous ringtones and alarms Lance has on his new phone. One morning I faintly heard ducks, and since there are ducks that wander around our apartment complex from the lake to the pool and so forth, I didn't think much of it. But the ducks kept getting louder and louder until finally I said, "Lance do you hear those ducks?" Which apparently woke him up enough to realize his alarm was going off - the one he set to the tone of ducks quacking. So glad I knew that. ;-)

I love when Lance kisses me goodbye in the morning when he goes to work. Date nights. How we both get so excited for good food, and making big breakfasts on the weekends. Making fun of Georgia together. Adventures with our GPS. Watching Lance learn new things (like teaching him how to iron and how to make grilled cheese) and find his way around the kitchen when he helps me clean up. I love that it's just us down here, establishing our life together.

"Normal day,
 let me be aware of the treasure you are."

[Mary Jean Irion]

first impressions of columbus, ga

the south is really different. i like it, but it's weird to me.

when i lived in maui, i felt like i belonged. it was totally different than where i grew up (lancaster, pa) as well, but i could easily get into the rhythm of hawaiian culture and i loved it. i don't know if i can see myself ever quite fitting into southern culture. or maybe it's that i don't want to, because the main difference i've noticed so far is diet. fried food and southern comfort foods are featured in the grocery stores. tons of crisco, grits, and other things i wasn't used to seeing line the aisles of grocery stores in pennsylvania.

i have never seen so many fast food places in such close proximity, and i have no idea why anyone would need this many waffle houses or mcdonalds. yuck.

last week when i asked our waitress about a dish i was considering ordering (caesar salad with thai fried shrimp) she said, "it's fried! it's good!" it made me laugh - as if frying something means it is automatically good. but then i am probably in the minority for not agreeing with that sentiment. i ordered it and it was delicious. so help me God if i start eating like a southerner. eek!

other first impressions of life in columbus, ga ...

- i love our apartment and i love apartment living! we have plenty of space but not too much to clean. it was awesome when my parents came down with our stuff and we could really make it home. we had taken some essentials down with us, but couldn't fit much in my car and forgot a shower curtain so the bathroom was a mess for the first few days we were here.

- lance did an awesome job picking a place and frankly i feel like i'm on vacation sometimes. the weather is perfect this time of year. our apartment complex has awesome pools, a nice fitness center (complete with saunas i won't use and free classes i will use - yesterday i did zumba and was of course the only person in the class, ha.), and a pond with ducks that wander all over the place.

- love being a short drive away from places we go - grocery store, restaurants, crossfit, downtown, and all of my faves in ONE shopping center: barnes & noble, ross, tjmaxx and marshalls. (that's a good shopping center!)

- southerners are generally very polite and well-mannered. i love it.

- people stand on street corners selling newspapers. i feel like i'm back in time.

- store employees walk your groceries out to your car for you. again, i feel like i'm back in time. this was incredibly perplexing for lance and i the first time it happened. so much so that we temporarily forgot where we parked and had the person zigzagging behind us in the parking lot, whoops.

- my first trip to the commissary (the grocery store on the army base) has led me to call it the cuh-misery, or just the misery, instead of pronouncing it correctly. it made me really glad that lance wanted to live OFF base. the store was packed out to the max and people were ramming carts around like it was a freaking nascar race. i felt like i was in a third world country. you could barely get to the shelves to get what you wanted and the line you wait in at the end was so long they had someone directing carts to each checkout. insanity. way too stressful and aggressive of a shopping experience for me, but everything is apparently a wee bit cheaper there. so i guess i'll go back. sigh. publix is practically around the corner from us (and winn-dixie and piggly wiggly, ha.) and i like that much better.

- baptist churches are everywhere. so are goodwill donation centers. and of course fast food GALORE.

- i miss turkey hill milk and ice cream.

- lots of businesses here have ridiculous names that crack us up. i think the most obvious example is the piggly wiggly - how can anyone take that place seriously?!

- southern accents are so great. i was afraid i'd pick up a fake southern accent and it's already sort of happening. sometimes i can't help talking to lance with southern twang. it may have more to do with all the duck dynasty we've been watching, love that show.

- we found a gorgeous park near our house, and i'm excited to keep exploring and finding more gems in this area! i love finding hidden beauty! we drove past development after development, then bam! a beautiful park that stretched out for miles with waterfalls and rocks to climb on and nice trails. it was also unexpected because a recent review of it online said a man had been there with his two daughters and got mugged, and someone else said to never go there because "it's full of homosexuals at night." wow people. the anonymity of the internet is something else, personally i find that the positive reviews of places are usually much more accurate than the negative ones!

lance spotted this stork (maybe heron? we're not bird experts, help us out.) and it was perched on one leg beside the lake so still that we both agreed "it's fake ... but so realistic!" so we were walking down to get right beside it for a funny picture of lance posing by the fake stork, and we were no more than three feet away when it flew off! HA, not fake after all. we could not stop laughing. (if we were written about in old testament style, i feel that phrase would be repeated. "and they walked with God ... and they could not stop laughing.")

 it was so beautiful.we've been having a lot of awesome bird encounters lately. when we drove in my parents lane after our wedding rehearsal, i was exclaiming, "there's a blue jay! oh my word, i've officially turned into my grandma shank, getting excited about birds-" lance: "is that an eagle?!" and sure enough, there was an enormous bald eagle sitting on a branch beside the stream. 

it was the first eagle i ever saw at my parents house. it definitely made a special trip there for us. we sat watching it for awhile until we had to go because we were already late to pick up my friends at the airport. ("sorry guys, just doing some bird watching! totally normal!" ha.) God does so many cool things. ask Him to do something cool for you today or to open your eyes to what He already did for you - i am confident you will love it and He will keep surprising you if you let Him.

marriage advice

at the start of my bachelorette party, my married friends shared some of their marriage advice. here's what stuck out:

- be nice to each other
- don't compare your relationship to others
- just have fun
- both be good forgivers

some other marriage advice that has stuck with me:

 1.) at my friend jeannette's bridal shower, someone who has been married 30+ years and does a lot of marriage counseling for people with her husband said, "people just don't have enough sex. everyone needs to have more sex." (this person also wanted to yell "sex!" instead of "surprise!" when the bride came in, which i thought seemed like overkill, but hey.)

2.) at my friend elizabeth's bachelorette party, one of her married friends said that her grandma (yeah right would either of my grandmas ever tell me what i'm about to tell you she said) told her before her wedding, "honey, it only takes a little bit of time and it makes him really, really happy. so even if you're really tired, just do it." ha, what a grandma, i love it.

one of my best friends, ashley, has been a huge source of encouragement to me, particularly in regards to marriage. she lives in minnesota and has been married for about  a year and a half now, and you might remember her from my post about our friendship or the one about her beautiful wedding.

ashley sent me sweet cards while lance was in ranger school with prayers and words for us as a couple that meant the world to me. she is so positive about marriage -  truly a breath of fresh air in a world where so many people insinuate (or flat out say) that marriage is a bad choice.

i love listening to her talk about how great being a newlywed is! and i love her honesty about what a challenge it can be, but how all of the work you put into is so worth it. (i may or may not remember her saying at one point - "sometimes it's so much work i think i should be getting paid for it!")

i am grateful for  her enthusiasm for lance and me, and i have to commend ashley for being an awesome wife - she is a great example to me of what it looks like to honor and respect your husband!

i am SO EXCITED to get married and start this huge new adventure with lance. to not be in a long distance relationship anymore. to be an awesome wife and to have an awesome husband. to get to fall asleep and wake up together. to move out ... move to georgia ... and make an apartment our home!

oh and please feel free to leave a comment with your marriage advice, or the best marriage advice you've received - clearly i enjoy hearing it.

almost wedding time

only 9 days until lance gets to PA, and 17 days until the wedding!

i decided to write something so i remember how i felt when the wedding was this close. i always think i'll remember everything, but it turns out i don't - and my blog can be really helpful for looking back.

i am really, REALLY excited. i hope the day doesn't fly by in a blur, and i hope i don't feel nervous. the coordinator made a point to say that we need to amplify our voices during the vows for the ceremony and i nodded that i understood, but what i really wanted to say was, "um lady, i could care less about amplifying. if i make it through our vows without sobbing the whole time i will consider it a win."

my bridal shower two weekends ago was so sweet. my mom did such a great job planning EVERYTHING for it. she is simply the BEST and i don't know what i'd do without her.

i am thankful for my sweet brother driving people to the shower, and hiding out in a parking lot to call when my mom and i  drove by, probably scaring to death the person who happened to be walking out of said church at the exact moment he was ducking down in his vehicle to call to alert the party people we were close.

and i'm thankful for my stepdad, who is really the nicest person ever and the best stepdad you could ask for, and he grilled some tasty bacon-wrapped chicken for the shower - my fave. (such a girly girl i am with my food choices, i know.)

{it was a full, full house! and this doesn't even show everyone.}

{thank you so much Cindy for taking pictures!}

i felt SO loved. your heart is just overwhelmed with love that there are so many people in your life who care about you and love you and want to support this huge, momentous occasion! i love it.

i felt like i was in a daze at my bridal shower, maybe because it was a surprise. except technically it wasn't because i had pretty much figured it out. but still. the surreal feeling that day has me hoping my wedding day won't be a blur.

this past weekend was my bachelorette party and it was also a BLAST. seven of my friends and i spent the night at a cute hotel in philadelphia. i'm blessed to have a friend who is a very talented hair stylist and she did my hair in fun vintage curls and did my makeup too, which i loved.

we had amazing sushi for dinner, complete with nasty hot sake shots ... which i loved even though they tasted terrible, because i'm obsessed with trying new things. our waiter was so fun. (i love it when you get a good, happy server.)

i loved wearing my pink bachelorette sash and even more than that i LOVED all of the well wishes from strangers telling me "congratulations" and "you'll be a beautiful bride" and my personal favorite - "your fiance is the luckiest guy in the world!" ha. philly really IS the city of brotherly love. ;-)

then we did karaoke! i am so excited that i can check that off my life list! after a slew of girly songs (think britney spears "hit me baby one more time" and spice girls "wannabe") we left for dancing at another spot.

more highlights:
- my cousin screaming my name into the mic after karaoke and telling everyone to "give it up!"
- someone giving me a feather mask from their mardi gras party
- beautiful snow falling outside (but not sticking around til morning for our drive home, phew)
- arguing with the DJ because he wouldn't play a song one of us requested, whoopsies
- lots of good chats traveling to and from
- spotting a michael buble lookalike
- someone deciding to adopt a british/australian accent
- and a friend taking off her heels at the end of the night, walking barefoot on a philly sidewalk because apparently i am not the only person who struggles to walk in heels. i kept mine on the whole time, no problem, woot woot. but my feet were sore the next two days, womp womp.

advice for engaged women

I am pasting this great advice from the Grace Full Mama blog here for quick reference (it's so good!) and to see what you would add to her list of "20 Things I Want To Tell Engaged and Newlywed Women (Really All Married Women)." 

Would you add any other advice? I am all ears, people.

1. Marriage is made up of two good forgivers. Because every marriage is made up of two sinners. (Romans 3:23)

2. At some point, you will have to learn that life isn’t all about you. (Philippians 2:3)

3. Don’t listen to women that tell you that passion fades…it doesn’t have to! (um…all of Song of Solomon)

4. Don’t give up. Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13)

5. He wants a kind wife, not a maid or another mother. Be nice. (Galatians 5:22-23)

6. Give your husband the gift of your respect.  He needs it more than you know. (Ephesians 5:33)

7. Be mindful of your expectations.

8. Honor the Lord above all things. Colossians 3: 17

9. Find your worth and security in the Lord, and don’t look to your husband to meet all of your needs.

10. Be very careful about reading romance novels, they set you up for an unrealistic view of romance.

11. Real romance is finding that one spot in the crook of his arm to snuggle into, that shared look over the dinner table when the kids are acting crazy, and the way he fixes the leaky sink when he is dog-tired after work.

12. Love is about relationship.  The more I love my husband, and seek a relationship with him, the less critical and duty-bound I become.  It is similar to my relationship with God.

13. Be thankful for the husband you have. Accept him as he is, not for what you want him to be.

14. Don’t compare!! Don’t buy into the game of comparing him with anyone else’s husband.

15.The Biblically “normal” marriage is filled with joy, connection, laughter, and peace.  It’s not free of hurt feelings and conflict, but they know how to process their pain with one another so that they live more often in a meadow than at the scene of a train wreck.  This is not the average marriage, but it normal – -because it is a visible display of Jesus’ relationship with His bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).

16. Your marriage is a testimony! “The #1 evangelistic tool in America (the world) today is a successful marriage, because it’s a living miracle!” – Dr. Joe Aldrich, former president of Multnomah Bible College.

17. Pray for your marriage. Pray hard.

18.I’ve heard that is gets better with age.  I have to say in my short {13 year} experience, that is so true.

19. Where there is God, there is always hope. Even for the most broken marriages. “With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

20.Marriage is commitment and sacrifice. But it’s also the best, most wild ride you will ever have with your best friend.

excerpt from Tuesdays With Morrie

“Still,” Morrie said, “there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don’t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike. And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?”

"Yes?"
“Your belief in the importance of your marriage.”
He sniffed, then closed his eyes for a moment.
“Personally,” he sighed, his eyes still closed, “I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you’re missing a lot if you don’t try it.”
He ended the subject by quoting a poem he believed in like a prayer: “Love each other or perish.”

[from "Tuesdays With Morrie" by Mitch Albom]

reminder

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." [Jeremiah 29:11]

it's amazing how you can hear a verse for years and never really be affected by it and then all of a sudden something strikes you. i love how God's Word is like that. it never gets old, it's always new, even though it never changes - just like Him.

this verse is on my mind because it hit me this weekend: God has plans for me. He is in control. it's really hard being away from lance and wondering when we will be able to get married. it's easy to feel like the military is in control, but as i read that verse i felt God reminding me that He is always in control. He has good plans for lance and i and He cares about us, He hasn't forgotten about us and He isn't oblivious to anything. He has really really good plans for us.

one of my dear friends from YWAM blessed me so much with a card she sent last week. i got chills after i read it and stood there praying for awhile. it was such a powerful word of encouragement she had gotten while she was praying for lance and me. it made me so excited for our marriage and all that God is going to do in us and through us.

dr. tim keller's book "the meaning of marriage" is also pumping me up for married life. he is an amazing teacher and co-authored the book with his wife, kathy. lance finished it already and we've had some great conversations about it. the book is teaching me a lot about the depth of marriage and the power and authority God sets into motion through marriages that are centered in Him. as i read, it seems impossible not to look at the way God designed marriage and be reminded of how holy God is.

i will probably write more about it when i'm finished reading it, but if you need a good summer read i recommend it for everyone. if you're opposed to marriage and view it as outdated and unnecessary, it will challenge your view in an intelligent and coherent way. i'm fairly certain everyone can learn something from his book whether you are single or have been married for a short or long time.

he is an impressive author, referencing c.s. lewis and soren kierkegaard and focusing on scripture but still telling personal stories and keeping it practical and applicable. and apparently he should be paying me to market his book because i just blabbed about it for entirely too long. off to read some more - you can always count on me to keep things dorky. ;-)