new york, new york!

a few weeks ago i spent a wonderful day in one of my favorite cities: new york.

my former professor set up a tour of the new york times with one of the editors for a small group of students/alumni. it felt like such an honor to just be in the place where the most well-known newspaper in the world is put together. watching those talented reporters was like staring at true celebrities for me. we weren't allowed to take pictures inside, which made it feel like even more of a classified privilege.

he did give us each a copy of his section's budget (which is a newspaper's list of what stories will be printed the next day) and i totally laid it across my desk at work the next day, hoping someone would get a glimpse of it and think i had a job offer from the times. because i'm just that crazy and that much of a dreamer.

the pulitzer wall was awesome, and so was the chat the editor had with us in a conference room. he is the kind of brilliant person that in only 15 or so minutes of conversation, you are completely inspired. things he mentioned in passing or as anecdotes have already helped me in my writing at work. those are the kind of people i need to hang out with. (and the kind of person i want to be!)

after our tour we ate a delicious overpriced lunch and it started downpouring. of course that doesn't stop new yorkers, the streets were still packed. of course i had not brought an umbrella in a spirit of optimism and neither did my friend bridget.

"oh life's for living, let's go!" bridget said. she is a great kind of friend to have, as you can tell. so bridget, virginia (who wisely had an umbrella) and i navigated our way around and had a fun rest of the day at bryant park, the library, central park and finally a coffeehouse in greenwich village.

we almost missed our train home and had to sprint several blocks. only because we got caught up talking at the coffeehouse. hilarious. and then the police officer i asked for help directing us through the train station misled us.  all day i'd been asking people for directions and every time i'd say to my friends how friendly and helpful new yorkers are - even though they would have every right in my book to be snobs and ignore annoying tourists like me - and of all people it was a cop who misled us. sheesh. but we made it.

 bridget and virginia in bryant park.



new york public library = gorgeous.



just a heads up: if you travel with me you will be asked to participate in at least one random photo op i make up. some of you know from experience. almost everyone acts like they hate it at the time, but they always love it in the end.



library foyer. aka the beautiful place carrie bradshaw almost got married.

what better way to end a post about new york than with a little carrie bradshaw style and wit ...

{source: google images}

"they say nothing lasts forever;  
dreams change, trends come and go ...

but friendships never go out of style.”

[carrie bradshaw]



the Liebster Award

Molly at Carry Your Heart With Me gave me the Liebster Award!

The rules of the award:
- Post 11 random facts about yourself
- Choose 11 deserving bloggers and tag them
- Answer 11 questions the tagger has asked you and give 11 questions to the people you've tagged.

11 random facts about myself

1. i have never had my ears (or anything else) pierced.

2. taking the year "off" after high school to do Youth With A Mission Maui was one of the best years of my life! same with the semester off college to do SBFM in maui.

3. i love the beach and would love to live in maui again.

4. i don't like coffee but i love chai tea lattes.

5. i have one older brother, colby.

6. bhutan is one of the coolest countries i have traveled to.

7. my mom is one of my very best friends.

8. yard sales are my favorite place to shop.

9. i love sushi. i've been hooked ever since i had it on a date with lance for the first time a few years ago.

10. being outside soothes my spirit. i love hiking or just being outside with people.

11. lance is my favorite person ever. i love him so so much.

11 questions from Molly:

1. How did you meet your husband/fiance?

we met when we were both working in food service at the hospital during college. his version of the story is much funnier because he says it took forever to get me to talk to him. which is true.

one of the earliest conversations that i remember laughing at lance for was when he started talking about how he makes the best renal shakes. (renal shakes were disgusting protein shakes we had to make for dialysis patients and they usually hated drinking them. i never actually tried one.) i was filling out paperwork and just laughed at him, but he continued, "what if girls liked guys and married them based on how well they made renal shakes?" i thought it was completely random but really funny and even told my mom about it - and how funny this guy was. little did i know how un-random it was and that he already knew he wanted to marry me.

2. What is the best way you have found to pass the time while they are gone?

exercising, reading books, and planning random things to look forward to. i also try to limit my time on facebook because it can be a downer.

3. What is a base/post you've loved/hated?

fort benning is the only one i have been to (besides one i forget the name of in florida for a wedding) but since i haven't lived there i can't say that i have any strong feelings about it either way.

4. What is your favorite military tradition? (i.e balls, promotion ceremonies, etc)

i loved ranger ball and i can't wait for the next one! i like how the military is steeped in so much tradition.

5. What is your favorite book you've recently read?

"east of eden" by john steinbeck, "the meaning of marriage" by tim keller, and "twist of faith" by anne beiler were all really amazing!

6. Did (Will) you have a military wedding?

we do not plan to have a military wedding. lance says that the military already takes up so much of his life and he does not want that to carry over to his wedding. i respect that.

7. What do you think about ACU purses? (Look here for examples if you don't know what I am talking about.)

i have never heard of them before today and i don't want one.

8. Do you have pets?

no pets right now, but lance and i both love dogs and talk about getting one. at the same time we are really hesistant because of the time commitment and dog hair everywhere. i want an english bulldog named hank. he wants a border collie, but i better not share what he wants to name it without his permission.

9. What area would you like to be stationed?

washington state or hawaii! i love both of those areas so much. germany, italy or anywhere in europe since i have not been there yet. alaska would be fun too.

10. What posts are you trying to avoid like the plague?

i'm a newby to all of this so i have no clue. but i've heard fort polk in louisiana is miles and miles from civilization, and that civilization there is really only walmart - so maybe that one.

11. How desperate do you have to be to brave the commissary on pay day?

 it sounds like i can be thankful i have not experienced this yet.

I am going to  skip tagging 11 people and giving them 11 questions to answer ... BUT, if anyone reading this would like the Liebster Award just say so in your comment and I promise I will come up with 11 really fun questions for you.

six months

walking to get chai and eat lunch yesterday i realized that i have officially been at my job as a reporter for six months. then i got distracted by a mattress on the sidewalk and thinking about how trashy the city i work in can be.

a few steps later there was a guy with a beer gut hanging out of his t-shirt while he leaned over his pickup truck staring at me. almost gross enough to make me lose my appetite. almost.

i turned the corner and someone else was apparently intrigued by my pink lunch bag because he started yelling,"damn girl, if you were my lady you would never have to carry your lunch, because i would have it catered ... and packed ... and i would carry it for you wherever you wanted to go ... girl did anyone tell you that you are looking great today?!" actually no, but thank you for being the first?

that got me wondering which way i was going to walk to get back to the office, because i already avoid the opposite side of that street where someone burns incense on the sidewalk outside of their shop every day. (incense is one of the few, if not the only, smells that i actually hate more than cigarette smoke.)

this is the city i work in and yet my coworkers still seem shocked i would rather commute 40 minutes than move here, hmm.

eventually i got back to thinking about how i've been at my job for six months and how it feels a lot longer than that. the way that things have begun to come full circle cements that feeling.

on my first day i covered my first press conference, where it was announced that marvin hamlisch was coming to town later this year as a guest conductor.

i only knew who marvin was because of his cameo in one of my favorite chick flicks of all time. (that would be "how to lose a guy in 10 days" for those of you who actually have lives and don't remember useless rom com references.) so whoever says chick flicks are a waste of time is wrong. just kidding, they are a waste of time but i love them. so much.

anyway marvin hamlisch died last week. so there's that.

and on an even sadder note, one of the first stories i got attached to was an interview with a family whose four-year-old son had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. they told him he had four to six months to live, with treatment. i cried after the interview at his house with his family and prayed for them and even wrote some of my thoughts on it here.

i was really rooting for them and must have had an underlying optimism that the adorable little boy would live, because i was crushed when my editor yelled across the office that ryan died and i needed to do a story on that now.

i thought about what my last six months have been compared to that family's. my heart breaks for his parents, but also for his siblings, who are so young that this will probably shape them even more. but life goes on for them, and for all of us. it doesn't stop when we hurt.

"if grease is the soul of the kitchen
and coffee the drink of the gods
routine too perfect to mention
time is a thief i would rob
 

we're meant to be baby hold onto me
i'll never not be your girl
cause love is the heart of the world

oh and hope is the soul of the dreamer
and heaven is the home of my God
it only takes one true believer
to believe you can still beat the odds."

[lady antebellum]

going to the beach with your fiancé's family - without your fiancé

one of my latest adventures was going to the beach with lance's entire extended family - without lance. at the end of that week i realized i have officially spent more time with his family in the last year than he has. our lives are weird.

i could say 'this is what happens when your fiance is in the military, you do weird things' but that would not be true. well partially true, but it is not entirely to blame because i have always done weird things and probably always will.

and i love the beach, so why not? plus lance's family is really great. and hilarious. especially his grandpa. who won my heart even more by agreeing with lance's aunt when she told me i look like prince william's wife, kate middleton. (um best compliment ever?! even if it was probably only because of my giant blue hat.) and pop said, "yeah, lance sure knew what he was doing." love it.

the phrase you will hear someone say to pop every time you hang out with their family is, "tell us how you really feel pop." he says whatever he wants and it's pretty much the best thing ever. his commentary while watching the olympics was priceless and i should have been recording it for lance.

they've been going to the beach as an extended family every summer since lance was born. he's the baby cousin, but of course now there are lots of cute little great-grandkids running around. case in point:

the best part of the week was that lance called on friday to tell me that he passed the darby phase of ranger school! YAY! ranger school begins with "RAP" week and is followed by the darby, mountains and florida phases. each phase is roughly three weeks and if you get recycled you must redo the entire three weeks until you pass. at the end of each phase they get a little break when they can make phone calls.

confused yet? yeah. the question lance's cousin asked: so what does this mean for your wedding plans? answer:  it doesn't actually make anything clearer, because we still don't know when ranger school will end. BUT it is GREAT news because it means he is moving quickly through school. he is amazing.

it was so so good to hear his voice and i was definitely floating for the next few days! right now he is in the mountains phase and i am counting down about two weeks until our next phone call.

this picture is from memorial day in atlanta, when we were last together. i got my face painted at the renaissance faire and kept it on all night. a perfect example of the weird things i was just telling you about. ;-)

 "I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
[Psalm 27:13-14]

advice for engaged women

I am pasting this great advice from the Grace Full Mama blog here for quick reference (it's so good!) and to see what you would add to her list of "20 Things I Want To Tell Engaged and Newlywed Women (Really All Married Women)." 

Would you add any other advice? I am all ears, people.

1. Marriage is made up of two good forgivers. Because every marriage is made up of two sinners. (Romans 3:23)

2. At some point, you will have to learn that life isn’t all about you. (Philippians 2:3)

3. Don’t listen to women that tell you that passion fades…it doesn’t have to! (um…all of Song of Solomon)

4. Don’t give up. Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13)

5. He wants a kind wife, not a maid or another mother. Be nice. (Galatians 5:22-23)

6. Give your husband the gift of your respect.  He needs it more than you know. (Ephesians 5:33)

7. Be mindful of your expectations.

8. Honor the Lord above all things. Colossians 3: 17

9. Find your worth and security in the Lord, and don’t look to your husband to meet all of your needs.

10. Be very careful about reading romance novels, they set you up for an unrealistic view of romance.

11. Real romance is finding that one spot in the crook of his arm to snuggle into, that shared look over the dinner table when the kids are acting crazy, and the way he fixes the leaky sink when he is dog-tired after work.

12. Love is about relationship.  The more I love my husband, and seek a relationship with him, the less critical and duty-bound I become.  It is similar to my relationship with God.

13. Be thankful for the husband you have. Accept him as he is, not for what you want him to be.

14. Don’t compare!! Don’t buy into the game of comparing him with anyone else’s husband.

15.The Biblically “normal” marriage is filled with joy, connection, laughter, and peace.  It’s not free of hurt feelings and conflict, but they know how to process their pain with one another so that they live more often in a meadow than at the scene of a train wreck.  This is not the average marriage, but it normal – -because it is a visible display of Jesus’ relationship with His bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).

16. Your marriage is a testimony! “The #1 evangelistic tool in America (the world) today is a successful marriage, because it’s a living miracle!” – Dr. Joe Aldrich, former president of Multnomah Bible College.

17. Pray for your marriage. Pray hard.

18.I’ve heard that is gets better with age.  I have to say in my short {13 year} experience, that is so true.

19. Where there is God, there is always hope. Even for the most broken marriages. “With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

20.Marriage is commitment and sacrifice. But it’s also the best, most wild ride you will ever have with your best friend.

words for everyone

funeral for a soldier

when i heard that someone would need to cover the funeral of a special forces soldier last friday at work, i felt sick to my stomach. i was really missing lance a lot, and the last thing i wanted to do was go to a funeral and talk to family members living my worst nightmare.

somehow i knew i would be the one assigned to go, and sure enough my editor came to my desk and told me to go to baltimore to cover it. the only thing that consoled me was i had worn a beautiful new black dress that day that frankly was perfect funeral attire. the right clothes really do make life so much better.

it was my first military funeral so i had no idea what to expect. the local fire, police and emergency service departments lined up the road leading to the church and directed parking. the family stood outside and i nervously checked with a funeral director about where to go in, and was relieved that they were not standing there for a greeting line where word vomit was sure to come forth.

the green berets lined up outside and eventually filed into the church carrying the casket, and the entire family filed in afterward. surprisingly, the tears i had been anticipating did not come. this was the first catholic funeral i had attended, and perhaps because the traditions do not hold any deep personal meaning to me, i found the service to be very impersonal.

i only started to get a feeling for what he was like when i began talking to his family members afterward. once you work through your feelings of 'i feel like the most insensitive jerk in the world approaching these strangers for a news story right now' and talk to the first relative, it gets easier to talk to a few more.

the published story is not what i would have written if i knew him. and even without knowing him, there are a few things i would have liked to throw in if i had free reign over what i could publish. things like a rant about the rampant infidelity in military marriages and women who dress like skankasauruses at funerals. judgments better left unsaid. so really it is probably for the best that i do not have free reign over what gets printed. ;-)

"Journalism without a moral position is impossible. Every journalist is a moralist. It's absolutely unavoidable. A journalist is someone who looks at the world and the way it works, someone who takes a close look at things every day and reports what she sees, someone who represents the world, the event, for others. She cannot do her work without judging what she sees."
[Marguerite Duras]