untitled

be yourself. maybe you've heard it hundreds of times. or maybe no one has ever said it directly to you but i'm telling you now: be yourself.

it is painful to watch someone who is not being themselves. is it something you notice?

it is painful to watch people trying to keep up to other people, trying to be like someone else or become more like so-and-so. even when people try to imitate photographs i find it painfully obvious. don't pose and try to be like someone else, just do your own thing.

it is painful to interact with a person who is clearly pretending to be something they're not, not speaking in their voice, and liking or doing things they don't actually like or desire to do. ultimately it seems that it stems from fear, insecurity, jealousy or not knowing who you are.

whether you're starting from scratch or not, know that you are a child of God. there was a point when i was 18 that it really hit me and it changed my life for the best.

i am the daughter of the high king of heaven, the one who created the earth and knit me together before i was born. way back before my parents even knew each other or knew they'd have a daughter (or that they'd be so blessed to get one this dang good. wink.) together - God knew me and had a plan for me and the same is true for you.

"I know Who goes before me, I know Who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always on my side.The One who reigns forever, He is a Friend of mine, The God of angel armies is always by my side. Whom shall I fear?" [Chris Tomlin]

and for the pain of watching someone who isn't being themselves, oh there is the joy of the other side of the story! oh the joy of being with people who are at ease with themselves and are happy to be who they are. the contagiousness of their spirits and the things they are passionate about. when i'm with them my eyes are opened to new things, i laugh a  lot, my dreams start to grow and so does my joy.

there isn't a trace of bitterness or envy getting in the way, it's just nothing but the good stuff.

i like everyone but i'd say i am a little partial to artists. i love watching people who are creative do their thing and really do it. i like the ones who are being original. i don't care about imitations. i don't want to look at the people doing knock-offs and copying without giving credit where it is due. i want the real thing. i love fresh creativity.

of course there are many other parts of life besides the arts. and you are called to an original role. it is not a repeat role or an imitation, it's an original. for all the narcissism in the world, we're still really good at trading in our dreams and settling for half ass attempts at things and not being who we really are.

on sunday, someone on the radio was telling the story that an older man - who we will call nigel - passed on to him. nigel was advanced in years ... um, okay this isn't an old testament story of someone getting knocked up, no idea why i phrased it like that, but moving on ... nigel was old, but this story still brought tears to his eyes when he told it to the radio guy.

it was a story about when he was 12 years old and decided to go play basketball with his older brother and the guys from the neighborhood. nigel's mom told him it was the worst idea he'd ever had. they take free throw shots to see who will get to be the team captains and nigel is a horrible shot, one the first guys out. the competition continues until finally nigel's older brother is the last man left and gets to be the captain with the first pick.

and you can probably guess what's coming. instead of picking any of the great players, big brother stuck his arm out and pointed right at nigel and said, "i pick you, nigel. i want you on my team first." nigel was so overwhelmed he started to cry and big brother just put his arm around his shoulder and let him cry it out while the rest of the team was picked.

for the rest of his life that story impacted nigel and he never forgot what it felt like to be chosen. who knows how much of a springboard it was for his confidence and future success, or how many people he told it to that were then impacted, but he told it to radio guy who admitted he has passed it along several times since he heard it 10 years ago. the story gripped me.

i scribbled these notes into my journal as soon as i pulled into the parking lot at work ...
- when you are chosen it affects you at a deep level. you remember the feeling of being chosen.
- God chooses you.
- none of us are born as spectators; you either live into that chosenness or you abandon it.

i believe in you 100% and know if God chose you - which He did - you have great things ahead, regardless of what lies behind you. you have great things in the here and now so long as you choose them. i hope you choose to be yourself, because the world needs you.

Would you do me a favor?

Help us to win a free canvas from Carrie Logan Photography, the fantastic photographer who did our engagement pictures. She is giving one away to the clients from this year who get the most votes, and voting ends Monday, Dec. 3.

Click the link below and scroll to the very bottom to vote for "Lance + Chelsea."

http://www.carrieloganblog.com/2012/11/2012-canvas-contest.html

Thank you!

Ranger School Graduation: Part Two

here are some pics from ranger school graduation. they might make more sense (then again they might not) if you read what i wrote here first.

and now for some where's waldo lance ...

he is standing up in the back row in the top right corner. he even had a great spot that should have made it easy for me to spot him haha, whoops ...

just carrying another man is impressive to me, let alone rapelling down a wall with one ...



yes, that is four men hanging gracefully from a rope out of a helicopter ... crazy crazy but so cool!

fyi this is not lance in the action pics, they give the graduates a break and have other guys do the demos.





okay, now can you find lance in the picture below? me neither. he is not even in the picture because once they regrouped and went to different spots i lost sight of him again, ha. good thing i'm not the one in this relationship who is in the military.



loved the prayer. love prayer in public places and moments like this when we as Americans give God the reverence and respect He deserves.



here is a pic of lance before he went to school to give you an idea of the before/after ... and now the coveted ranger tab is finally where it belongs, excellent work & perseverance lance!



Ranger School Graduation: Part One

thankfully, i was able to get off work at the last minute and go to ranger school graduation. getting there meant riding 15 hours from pennsylvania to columbus, georgia with lance's parents. ha. no one can say i am not adventurous, that's for sure.

we left right after work on thursday at 5pm and drove through the night, arriving at the gates just in time to wait in line to enter. some people were decked to the hilt and others wore jeans or sweats. the whole gamut, with me in the middle of that spectrum looking disheveled and like i rolled out of bed because i'd literally just finished a road trip, but still wearing a dress i changed into at a gas station.

as soon as we got our seats i was squinting to figure out which one of the bald-headed camo-wearing soldiers was mine. they looked like clones and the camo caps that hide half of their face weren't helping. lance's parents didn't seem nearly as desperate to find him in the sea of faces and were busy chatting with some family friends anyway, who happened to be there for their son/grandson's graduation too. one of those crazy the-world-is-so-small things.

a few people were walking down closer to where the graduates were sitting to take pictures, so i followed suit and went over with my camera. i tried to methodically scan every face in each row to find lance and finally there he was! standing up, waving and laughing at me.

i started laughing realizing he had been able to see me that whole time and i must have looked ridiculous and hilarious as i searched for him and waved at the wrong guys several times before finally figuring out which one was him.

later when i asked him how long it took him to find me in the crowded bleachers he laughed and said, "i saw you as soon as you walked in."

i found it hilarious that he kept telling me i smelled so good, because i felt like a sweaty mess, but i guess after that many months in the wilderness with a bunch of dudes and wild animals i would smell pretty good.

ranger school graduation is said to be one of the coolest military graduations and while i have nothing to compare it to, i thought it was awesome. the first 45 minutes are demonstrations - guys rappelling off walls, crazy explosions, jujitsu, jumping out of helicopters, walking across really high beams across the lake, shimmying across really high ropes across the lake or doing pullups up there, etc.

i know, i know, my use of technical terms and explanations is astounding. ask lance for the real details. he would probably also explain that those demos are pretty much child's play and not the real deal with what they actually do in combat. quite comforting (sarcasm font) considering i thought the entire presentation was pretty intense and wild. (aside from the narration, because that reminded me of the diving show at dutch wonderland.)

next was the formal ceremony, and all i remember is the keynote speaker saying to the graduates, "i remember being in your shoes at graduation and thinking, 'when is this guy going to shut up so i can go get a steak and a beer?' so i'll keep it brief ..." lance was vigorously shaking his head.

several adorable world war two vets attended and were recognized for their service. i would have liked to chat with all of them.

everything about the graduation filled me with respect for lance, respect for everyone who serves their country, and respect for all of our elders and forefathers who did so much to make the united states the great country that it is.

in the middle of election season when i see and hear so much fear and division and hatred, it felt good to be somewhere that everyone at least seemed united and filled with pride. and with good reason. our guys had just finished one of the most intensive military training schools. about 130 guys were graduating from a class that started out with more than 400. (way to go babe! i am so proud of you.)

finally it was time for pinning on the ranger tabs, and i practically ran out of the bleachers and on to the field to lance. if there are words that can actually describe how good it feels to see the person you love more than anything else and be wrapped in his arms after five months of being apart, i don't have them. but it is somewhere between the happiest day of your life and heaven.

not surprisingly, i could not get the tab pinned and it was taking me so long that he finally just pinned it onto his uniform himself. a few quick pictures and hugs and he had to hurry off to get orders before we all left together.

the rest of the weekend was wonderful. we had clear sunny skies with a light breeze, no humidity and temps in the 70s and 80s (i've been writing a lot of weather stories at work, can ya tell?) which is my ideal weather. i appreciated it even more than usual considering i was in georgia, where i'm used to crazy hot and humid weather.

his parents took us out for a celebration dinner that night at one of our favorite restaurants in columbus. lance lost about 20 pounds during school, which is a lot for someone who was all muscle with no fat on his body, so he had a lot of recovery to do as he came out of starvation mode. he let himself eat whatever he wanted to all weekend, even though he is really antsy to get back in shape.

like on saturday morning for breakfast, he had three large red velvet pancakes, an omelet, hashbrowns, english muffin and coffee. and after i ate one of my pancakes and couldn't finish the other two, he finished those for me. maybe that's not a ton of food to some people, but it is to me, especially because he is so healthy and rarely, if ever, eats junk like red velvet pancakes.

we went to artwalk downtown, picked out wedding rings, checked out places to live, shopped, got sushi (he had about 50 pieces...!), looked at puppies at the pet store, and went back to the spot by the river where we got engaged and talked for hours. perfection.

woohoo!

i got a two minute phone call from lance last night to say that he passed florida, the very last phase of ranger school! he is finally finished!

he sounded so good on the phone - finally like himself again. i can only imagine how relieved he is to be finished and i can't wait to hear all about it. or whatever he's allowed to tell me. or really whatever he deems to be enough to satisfy my curiosity without making me sick to my stomach with worry. he knows me so well.

ahhhhhh! i was so excited i couldn't fall asleep after he called. i just laid in bed squealing and kicking and singing and in the morning when i was talking to my mom she said, "i know, i couldn't sleep either and i could hear you singing." hahaha ... i felt like a kid again, excited for a field trip the next day.

except no field trip today. but there might be one this weekend if i can get off work and work out travel plans. he is still out in the field all week (cut off from communication) until his graduation on friday morning. so if it crosses your mind, you can pray for all of those travel details to come together. thank you much!

terrain

if you like gardening or anthropologie, you would love terrain. it is another creative brainchild of the people at anthro and urban outfitters. i am blessed to live close to one of the only two terrain stores in the country.

essentially it is a glorified upscale gardening center and shop with a lot of beautiful items that mimic antiques. nothing for sale there is really in my budget, but it is amazingly inspiring and great for ideas.

mostly i just wanted to eat at the styer's garden cafe at the same location. you eat in a cozy greenhouse with lots of plants and twinkly lights and candles. a jazz band played the night my friends and i went so the whole experience was divine.

the food definitely made my ongoing mental list of all the best meals/foods i've ever eaten. i want to go back for the fresh bread and magical butter alone. i don't know what was in that butter, but if you like the cinnamon butter at texas roadhouse you would love this. see the bread in the picture above? it comes out in a terra cotta pot. and you drink out of mason jars. so yeah, everything about the place is really hipster, especially the people who work there.

{photo credit: jeannette's phone ... all others my cam}

the other best part of the night was convincing my friend to leave her number on her receipt for the (hipster) waiter. she normally hates hipsters but there was delicious wine involved so maybe her true colors were shining through? ;-) being a girl is fun.

terrain is a great girls night place, because the portions are small. small as in, a fine amount for me, but lance would need a few entrees to fill up. i had scallops piled with other fresh deliciousness (like purple cauliflower, who knew?!) cooked to perfection.

we stopped at anthropologie afterward, love that place. and here is one last picture, just because i love happy, laughing pictures.

the last latte

there is nothing like walking past a twitching homeless looking person on your way into starbucks to make you feel like a complete monster.

and (yes mom) i know, i know, i know - i should never go to starbucks in the first place because it is a waste of money.

but i do. i am a sucker for good atmosphere and i love going to cafes to read. so the other sunday i was going to read before work and i walked past that man sitting outside the entrance. i ignored him. i got my pumpkin spice latte and sat down with my bible and journal spread out on the table and i could not stop staring at the man sitting outside, feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world.

i bought some bread to give him. (funny how overpriced and ridiculous starbucks seemed when i was not buying it for myself.) he came shuffling into the store with some kind of limp, and he had a credit card and i thought, 'oh geez chelsea, he is not even homeless you are just incredibly judgmental of how he LOOKS.'

but there was some sort of scuffle at the register, and i assume the card was declined because he did not get anything and the cashier seemed miffed. he went back out to his spot outside by the door and began saying something to everyone who came in and they would look at him with an extremely uncomfortable expression.

the day before, my devotions were VERY specifically all about helping the poor. does this happen to anyone else?! or does God love me extra?

i could not concentrate on reading, and i don't think the Lord had me there to read at that point anyway, so i was about to leave and give him the bread when the cops showed up to talk to the man. the employees cheered, but when the cop came inside he spoke to the manager and more or less seemed agitated by the whole thing. he did not make the man leave. peculiar, but then again the city i work in is full of shootings and stabbings galore, so i suppose those things take priority over loitering.

the cop left and i went outside. the man was smoking and wearing dark glasses and i just said, "do you want this?" and handed him the bag of bread when he said "sure." as i turned to walk away i heard him say, "thank you darling."

he seemed sweet, like the kind of character i enjoy listening to. aside from his black, gnarled upper lip he reminded me of willie nelson. i don't know why i didn't at least talk to him briefly. i was curious about him as a person, but the huge glass windows allowing a packed coffeehouse of gawkers to watch our interaction must have scared me away.

which is sad. because now i'll probably never know his story.

was he an alcoholic? a freeloader or con man? was he there as part of a psychology experiment for an ivy league university? does he have a deep faith or none at all? was he lonely? does he have a home? what happened to his lip? how did he afford cigarettes? where was he going after starbucks? does he get a lot of guilt muffins like mine? what was he saying to all the people as they walked in? where will he go for christmas? has he cried himself to sleep so many nights that he is all cried out? or is he content with his life?

what would he want the world to know about him and about life?

i drove away convicted. (in all honestly i sat at the red light beside the shop so long that someone honked at me when it turned green because i was still staring at him thinking, 'what if he was Jesus and i just effed that up completely?! what if he was an angel and i totally blew a really easy test?!' ... i take things to the extreme, people, but you probably know this.)

i didn't really stop thinking about it and last week at bible study a woman shared a very similar experience she had with homeless people at panera bread. what i experienced and what she shared really stirred something up inside of me.

the conversation that followed did not resolve anything in my mind, but maybe it wasn't meant to. there is something more that God wants me to see and do, and parts of myself i need to face and change.

if we don't respond in the "little stuff" we will not respond at all.