grocery shopping

i could write an entire post on "things my mom was right about." it could also be called: "things i said i would never do when i saw my mom do them but do now and will most likely do them forever, and happily." 

for instance, when i was a teenager i could not believe my mom would wear the same outfit a few times.

"mom you just wore that last weekend." 
"that was with different people, these people haven't seen it yet." 
"but i've seen it. that's so weird. i'm never doing that."

mind you, i made it a goal in my junior year of high school to not repeat an outfit. and i think i might have even done it. i definitely repeated ITEMS, like my fave jeans worn lots and lots, but would wear with a different top or whatever. i don't know what i did, i obviously had too much time to think about what i was wearing.

we all know the quickest way to do something is to say, "i will never ..."  and naturally now i do what my mom did.

i pick an outfit i like and wear it out with lance, to church, to shop, to hang out with these people, then those people. then i have to find a new one - with much less enthusiasm than i apparently had in high school. and without the joy of a clothing allowance from my parents, or hand-me-downs from my stepsister who was always decked in adorable jcrew. but she is still a size zero (and i am not) and she ditched jcrew about the time her clothing allowance ended, so those handouts are long gone.

but i digress.

because the habit i acquired from my mom since being married has to do with grocery shopping.

i never understood when i was younger why my mom would bag her own groceries or make a point of telling the baggers, "i like the least amount of bags possible."

i remember whining when i was carrying the (then) heavy bags and asking why she couldn't just get more bags. "here i'll just carry it, chelsea."

not only did susan's habit help give her the buff arms she still has today that give her the body of a 35-year-old, but it was saving the earth. and preventing a lot of clutter. i hate waste and clutter. when i see how many plastic bags are used at grocery stores it's like, well let's all just go to the beach and beat baby seals to death or set a bunch of trees on fire because clearly we don't give a rip about mother earth.

after a few trips to the grocery store and being totally annoyed at how many bags they used to pack my groceries, i started using a big reusable bag i remembered i had in my trunk. that helped. then i bought another reusable bag at target, and was delighted to find out you get five cents back every time you use that bag at target - awesome!

when i left the commissary last week and again this week with just a heavy reusable bag on each shoulder and jug of orange juice in my hand, i was thrilled. (thanks mom!)

it took me a bit to get the hang of grocery shopping but (oddly enough) i look forward to it now. 

publix, an amazing grocery chain in the south, has a sweet app that organizes your grocery list ahead of time according to what aisle each item is in. i really only stop there for a few sale items each week, but it makes it so nice and easy. i'm starting to catch on to coupon blogs and apps, and if i were lance i would probably be annoyed by me always telling him, "this was such a good deal because ..."

i have yet to find any good farmers markets, which is a bummer. i passed a roadside stand (by "stand" i do mean a truck with a tent, some produce, and some dogs milling around) today when i took a wrong turn and ended up in a pretty ghetto neighborhood, i didn't feel safe getting out of my car so i didn't know that the produce could be trusted either. so i will keep looking.

terrain

if you like gardening or anthropologie, you would love terrain. it is another creative brainchild of the people at anthro and urban outfitters. i am blessed to live close to one of the only two terrain stores in the country.

essentially it is a glorified upscale gardening center and shop with a lot of beautiful items that mimic antiques. nothing for sale there is really in my budget, but it is amazingly inspiring and great for ideas.

mostly i just wanted to eat at the styer's garden cafe at the same location. you eat in a cozy greenhouse with lots of plants and twinkly lights and candles. a jazz band played the night my friends and i went so the whole experience was divine.

the food definitely made my ongoing mental list of all the best meals/foods i've ever eaten. i want to go back for the fresh bread and magical butter alone. i don't know what was in that butter, but if you like the cinnamon butter at texas roadhouse you would love this. see the bread in the picture above? it comes out in a terra cotta pot. and you drink out of mason jars. so yeah, everything about the place is really hipster, especially the people who work there.

{photo credit: jeannette's phone ... all others my cam}

the other best part of the night was convincing my friend to leave her number on her receipt for the (hipster) waiter. she normally hates hipsters but there was delicious wine involved so maybe her true colors were shining through? ;-) being a girl is fun.

terrain is a great girls night place, because the portions are small. small as in, a fine amount for me, but lance would need a few entrees to fill up. i had scallops piled with other fresh deliciousness (like purple cauliflower, who knew?!) cooked to perfection.

we stopped at anthropologie afterward, love that place. and here is one last picture, just because i love happy, laughing pictures.

the last latte

there is nothing like walking past a twitching homeless looking person on your way into starbucks to make you feel like a complete monster.

and (yes mom) i know, i know, i know - i should never go to starbucks in the first place because it is a waste of money.

but i do. i am a sucker for good atmosphere and i love going to cafes to read. so the other sunday i was going to read before work and i walked past that man sitting outside the entrance. i ignored him. i got my pumpkin spice latte and sat down with my bible and journal spread out on the table and i could not stop staring at the man sitting outside, feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world.

i bought some bread to give him. (funny how overpriced and ridiculous starbucks seemed when i was not buying it for myself.) he came shuffling into the store with some kind of limp, and he had a credit card and i thought, 'oh geez chelsea, he is not even homeless you are just incredibly judgmental of how he LOOKS.'

but there was some sort of scuffle at the register, and i assume the card was declined because he did not get anything and the cashier seemed miffed. he went back out to his spot outside by the door and began saying something to everyone who came in and they would look at him with an extremely uncomfortable expression.

the day before, my devotions were VERY specifically all about helping the poor. does this happen to anyone else?! or does God love me extra?

i could not concentrate on reading, and i don't think the Lord had me there to read at that point anyway, so i was about to leave and give him the bread when the cops showed up to talk to the man. the employees cheered, but when the cop came inside he spoke to the manager and more or less seemed agitated by the whole thing. he did not make the man leave. peculiar, but then again the city i work in is full of shootings and stabbings galore, so i suppose those things take priority over loitering.

the cop left and i went outside. the man was smoking and wearing dark glasses and i just said, "do you want this?" and handed him the bag of bread when he said "sure." as i turned to walk away i heard him say, "thank you darling."

he seemed sweet, like the kind of character i enjoy listening to. aside from his black, gnarled upper lip he reminded me of willie nelson. i don't know why i didn't at least talk to him briefly. i was curious about him as a person, but the huge glass windows allowing a packed coffeehouse of gawkers to watch our interaction must have scared me away.

which is sad. because now i'll probably never know his story.

was he an alcoholic? a freeloader or con man? was he there as part of a psychology experiment for an ivy league university? does he have a deep faith or none at all? was he lonely? does he have a home? what happened to his lip? how did he afford cigarettes? where was he going after starbucks? does he get a lot of guilt muffins like mine? what was he saying to all the people as they walked in? where will he go for christmas? has he cried himself to sleep so many nights that he is all cried out? or is he content with his life?

what would he want the world to know about him and about life?

i drove away convicted. (in all honestly i sat at the red light beside the shop so long that someone honked at me when it turned green because i was still staring at him thinking, 'what if he was Jesus and i just effed that up completely?! what if he was an angel and i totally blew a really easy test?!' ... i take things to the extreme, people, but you probably know this.)

i didn't really stop thinking about it and last week at bible study a woman shared a very similar experience she had with homeless people at panera bread. what i experienced and what she shared really stirred something up inside of me.

the conversation that followed did not resolve anything in my mind, but maybe it wasn't meant to. there is something more that God wants me to see and do, and parts of myself i need to face and change.

if we don't respond in the "little stuff" we will not respond at all.